Father and Child Communion

By DAVE EGGERS Illustration by Bud Peen despite what we see on TV -- from "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" to "Silver Spoons," "My Three Sons" to "My Two Dads" -- single fatherhood has always been and is now relatively rare. Of the 18 million or so American children living in single parent households, only about 2 million live with their fathers. Because of its rarity, and perhaps because men run the entertainment industry, single fatherhood is considered noble, extraordinary, brave, and thus worthy of many a half-hour sitcom. In contrast, single motherhood, with its historical ubiquity among the underclass, is depressing and common, and ratings death. Two recent books, one autobiographical, the other a novel written by a young writer without children, play on the appeal of the single dad story, but attempt to go beyond television's laughtrack and glossy stereotypes. The results are mixed. The subject matter is familiar to me, though my membership in the ranks of single fatherhood might be considered conditional -- I am more accurately a single brother. Since the deaths of our parents in 1991, I have been caring for my brother Chris, then 8 years old, now 13. I approached the two books with special curiosity and in the case of the book written by the parenting novice -- Michael Grant Jaffe's "Dance Real Slow" -- with skepticism. I was sure that a man who hadn't actually been there would have no way to convincingly tell the story. But in this, Jaffe's first novel, he has done just that -- and written a far better book than John Thorndike's memoir "Another Way Home," which is an unenjoyable, self-aggrandizing bore.

Next: Outrage, relief and amusement