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My search for -- nay, my obsession with -- illegal cheese began in France. "Why is this Camembert so much better than the Camembert in America?" I naively asked the waiter at Maisons de Bricourt in Brittany. "Because, Monsieur, it is made from -- how do you say? -- lait cru?" As I dodged the beads of saliva expelled by his deep guttural pronunciation of "cru," deliberations ensued among the wait staff. They delivered the verdict: "Row milk!"

Images of dilapidated alcoholic cows drinking malt-liquor out of paper bags sprung to mind, but eventually we determined that what he meant was raw milk. Unpasteurized milk. Milk straight from the cow, still harboring all the wonderful bacteria that constitute the soul of great cheese. But it is this very rawness that makes the cheese illegal, and that's what makes me a fugitive.

Listeria hysteria

A Frenchman invented the process that ruined most of the world's cheese, but it took the ingenuity of the U.S. Food & Drug Administration to mandate pasteurization of just about everything.

Stinky Cheese? We've got your wine.

It is legal to use unpasteurized milk in cheese only if that cheese has been aged more than 60 days (most potentially harmful bacteria die in this time). Tragically, this rules out all the young Brie, Camembert and Epoisses (most of which are aged around 30 days) that many consider to be the pinnacle of the cheese-making art. Steven Jenkins, author of "Cheese Primer" (Workman, 1996) and perhaps America's leading authority on cheese, calls the pasteurized Brie and Camembert available in America, "pretenders -- inauthentic impostors bearing their names."

Still, there are fabulous raw-milk cheeses available that have been aged for over 60 days. But just because something is legal doesn't mean it's easy. Artisan raw-milk cheese-makers to whom I spoke said that FDA inspectors pay "extra special attention" to their facilities, and, according to a number of recent articles in the professional cheese press, a forthcoming round of proposed FDA regulations will seek to outlaw raw-milk cheeses altogether.

The ostensible fear is listeria, an obscure food-borne bacteria that the FDA says can, when the planets are in alignment, kill pregnant women, infants, the elderly and the otherwise infirm. But how serious is this threat? Are mothers really feeding raw-milk Camembert to their babies? And why not rely on clear labeling, rigorous inspection and informed consumer choice? It's hard to believe that raw-milk cheeses are as dangerous as, say, cigarettes.

Cheese is not the only potential source of listeria -- it can come from many food products, and, moreover, pasteurization is not a guarantee against listeria because the cheese can contract the bacteria even after treatment. I have consumed about 100 pounds of raw-milk cheese in the past few years; it is my testimony that the listeria threat is overblown. And, as the French are fond of taunting, historically the most severe outbreaks of listeria have occurred in countries like America, where young raw-milk cheeses are illegal.

Of course, the government is not entirely to blame. Accomplice liability for the murder of cheese certainly belongs to corporate laziness and the unimaginative American palate. We get the cheese we deserve, and as long as Cheez Whiz outsells Chevre there is not likely to arise a powerful anti-pasteurization lobby.

Next page | Lies the cheesemonger told me