The instant gratification bot

Finally, someone has come up with a killer use for instant messaging -- and by that, we don't mean wasting your work days by making idle conversation with your equally idle friends.

Last week, AOL Instant Messager (AIM) quietly inserted a "service bot" called SmarterChild into its system. Any AIM user can now use this software robot to get stock quotes, movie times, weather reports and news, instantly: Simply start up an instant-messaging session with "SmarterChild" and type in your query in normal language -- "What time is Castaway playing?" or "What's IBM's stock price?" -- and the bot will serve up the answer in a split second.

SmarterChild's creators -- the software company ActiveBuddy -- plan to install their application on a number of wireless and instant messaging platforms, and will expand the software to include more topics and services. In the meantime, for the millions of users who lurk on these systems every day, SmarterChild is an infinitely faster and more convenient way to answer quick-hit questions than, say, waiting for your MyYahoo homepage to load. No, SmarterChild can't give you love advice yet; but unlike your other AIM friends, at least SmarterChild will enhance instead of detract from your productivity. -- Janelle Brown [11:45 a.m. PDT, May 8, 2001]

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Fortune giveth, Fortune taketh away

This week's Fortune magazine cover package -- "Can We Ever Trust Wall Street Again?" -- leads with a hit piece titled "Where Mary Meeker Went Wrong," which takes down the famed Net stock analyst.

On its way to demolishing Meeker, the story gets in a fat jab at the media for puffing up the Morgan Stanley analyst: "Anointed by Barron's as 'Queen of the Net,' lovingly profiled by The New Yorker, equated with Alan Greenspan and Warren Buffett as a market mover by the Wall Street Journal, Meeker was the unquestioned diva of the Internet Age."

But there's one Meeker cheerleader not on the media list: Fortune magazine. In 1999, the magazine placed Meeker third in its annual list of 50 powerful American women in business. Just last October, Meeker was ranked at six on the list, as the magazine cooed, "She's still Queen Mary in Internet financing, market correction be damned."

And that's just for starters. Fortune recently called her a "star analyst," "Wall Street's reigning Internet analyst" and, in a piece called "In 2000, They're People to Watch," "the face of intellectually respectable Net stock bullishness."

Now, Fortune has a new cutesy moniker for Meeker: "Queen of the Bubble."

Which just goes to show, everyone loves to love you when you're up, and kick you when you're down. -- Katharine Mieszkowski [10 a.m. PDT, May 8, 2001]

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20 days without a shower and still no word from Taco Bell

For almost three weeks now, about 30 Harvard students and alumni have been staging a sit-in at the university's Massachusetts Hall to demand a "living wage" for the lowest-paid workers on campus.

The protestors are calling on Harvard to raise the wages of its lowest-paid janitorial and cafeteria workers to at least $10.25 an hour. According to the living-wage advocates, some Harvard employees are now making wage-slave salaries of $6.50 an hour without benefits. (The university counters that its lowest paid worker actually makes the princely sum of $8.05 an hour.)

It's an argument that seems likely to find a sympathetic ear among the university's tenured elites, and it has. The students' plan has received endorsements from more than 100 faculty members.

But it's captains of industry, not masters of intellect, whom the students ultimately have to convince of their cause's righteousness. The members of the Harvard Management Corporation, the university's highest governing body, have ultimate authority over all major employment policies. And the list of "fellows" is stacked with multimillionaire corporate chieftains.

How'd you like to try to convince a member of the board of Tricon, the corporate parent of Taco Bell, KFC and Pizza Hut, that minimum-wage workers aren't getting their fair share? Good luck.

"We're occupying the offices of treasurer [of the Harvard Corp.] D. Ronald Daniel," says Ian Simmons, 25, via cellphone from the sit-in. Simmons, Harvard '00, teaches social studies at a middle school in Boston when he's not occupying the building of his alma mater to demand social change. "We're pretty happy to be in his office. He's got an ottoman with a big turkey on it, a lithograph of this old Scotsman wearing a red coat holding his golf clubs. He's got a very pleasant office here with very few reminders of how real people live."

Before staging the sit-in, the Living Wage Coalition repeatedly requested a meeting with the members of the corporation -- to no avail. "We've asked for 15 minutes, and we haven't gotten the time of day," says Simmons. "We've asked them for 60 minutes a year to talk to the workers, which seems like a good idea if you're overseeing thousands of workers. Harvard is one of the largest employers in Massachusetts." Last month, the group even staged a Michael Moore/"Roger & Me"-style field trip to New York to try to schedule a meeting in person at the offices of the various fellows.

The so-called "Hunt for the Harvard Corporation" brought some 40 students, including Harvard third-year law student Aaron Bartley, to the offices of companies like McKinsey & Co. and Corning. "They're all multimillionaire corporate titans," says Bartley, who plans on going into labor law when he graduates.

Showing up in person didn't get the students any closer to meeting with the members of the governing body that oversees their school, but they did get some attention from the rank and file. Bartley recalls that when they visited the offices of Tricon in Greenwich, Conn., "the secretary seemed pretty enthusiastic and gave us $100 in gift certificates to Taco Bell. We went out to eat after that."

[UPDATE: According to the protestors, the sit-it is likely to end Tuesday at 3 p.m. EST. on May 8 -- its 21st day -- with a rally declaring victory. It's unclear with the agreement with the administration will be.] -- Katharine Mieszkowski [1:15 p.m. PDT, May 7, 2001]

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"Sesame Street" -- Brought to you by the letters A, O, and L

From the truth is stranger than fiction department: Yesterday in "The demon spawn of AOL and the "Weakest Link"? we made up a heinous cross-marketing scheme for America Online and NBC's game show. But today, we learned that "Sesame Street" already engages in a much more pernicious promotion with America Online than we could ever have invented.

America Online now sponsors the show, with ads announcing before the program that "Sesame Street is brought to you in part by America Online." One ad shows a schoolgirl in a classroom, while a voice-over brags about AOL's educational value. After the credits roll, we're referred to the AOL keyword for Sesame Street.

This cozy affiliation alone isn't so terrible. But Elmo himself has gone product placement. Say it isn't so!

One character in the Elmo's World segment of "Sesame Street" is a computer, which bursts out of Elmo's closet and runs around shouting "You've got mail! You've got mail!" Elmo has to chase the computer to read mail from his friends.

Wait: Wasn't Sesame Street the one show on TV that dared to mock corporate sponsorship? Whatever happened to "Brought to you by the letter 'A' and the number nine?" Now, it's gone one step beyond mere sponsorship: "Sesame Street" is brainwashing tots to become AOL members. We can't help but wonder how the letter "A" people are taking the news.

Alert the AOL-haters: The Darth Vader of online services is using America's most beloved and revered children's television show to turn a whole new generation of Web surfers into AOL-addicts. To the ramparts!

It's what you'd expect from network schlock like "Survivor," but public television should do better.

Mister Rogers would never stoop so low. -- Katharine Mieszkowski [1:25 p.m. PDT, May 4, 2001]

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Purloined porn, redux

As we reported last year in "Purloined Porn," erotica writers who anonymously post their stories on the Net frequently see their work ripped off by sleazy pay-for-porn Web sites and CD-ROM companies.

Now, in the latest installment of the great Internet porno heist, a porno magazine called "Just Come of Age" is getting in on the action. In its May 2001 issue, chapters 1-8 of "Call Girl Cheerleaders" appear with photos added to illustrate the tale.

The magazine promises to publish the rest of the story in the future, although "MichaelD," who identifies himself as the author of the story, has never been contacted by the magazine for permission. So, he's fighting back -- not in court, but on the Net.

The writer, a lawyer who posts his stories on the Net under the pseudonym "MichaelD," isn't turning to litigation, since a suit would make it hard to continue concealing his true identity. Instead, he's decided to leave it up to his readers to take action.

He's posted a call to arms on his Web site, including the publication's address, phone number and the e-mail address of its publisher, Richard Shore. "I invite anyone who cares about this to tell Mr. Shore what you think about his business practices," he writes on his site.

"I just hope that the wave of angry e-mail from my readers makes Mr. Shore think twice the next time," he wrote in an e-mail. But will an online campaign by angry Net porno fans indignant about copyright violations actually make a difference? From talking to the publisher of "Just Come of Age," it seems highly unlikely.

Richard Shore says that so far he's received no complaints about the story. "Everything we publish is sent in by people for free. We don't publish stuff off the Internet. If someone stole something that's his, he can take them to court," he said, adding "I'm not really here to give interviews. You have a nice day." -- Katharine Mieszkowski [11:05 a.m. PDT, May 4, 2001]

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