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Recently in Salon Technology

Saint Nick sells out
In the year of e-Christmas what would you expect?
By Joe Kelleher
[12/24/99]

Can Linux billionaires carry the free-software torch?
As dot-com mania sends shares in open-source companies soaring, the movement searches its soul.
By Andrew Leonard
[12/23/99]

Naked eye
A prudish hacker caught me surfing porn and turned the image on my monitor, and my world, upside down.
By Daniel Sieberg
[12/22/99]

The real Y2K crash
Why did stocks that skyrocketed on the promise of "silver bullet" millennium bug solutions fall back to earth?
By Mark Gimein
[12/21/99]

Technology: View from the top
Hold the phone
Robert Tercek and PacketVideo think media convergence is headed for your cell phone.
By John Geirland
[12/20/99]

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Well, most U.S. banks have upgraded their systems and tested them for months to be sure they won't fall victim to the millennium bug. Many even plan to open their doors on January 1 -- a Saturday -- to show that they are engaging in "business as usual" and to discourage mass withdrawals. Unruly mobs of passbook-waving citizens will be welcomed with free lollipops and circuitous, imperceptibly-moving queues.

"Experts" recommend having a few days' -- maybe even a week's worth -- of cash on hand. But I wonder who will be accepting it. If the power to your ATM fails, what are the chances that the Wendy's drive-thru will be open? As for getting supplies post-Apocalypse, forget it. Your cash will be worthless at any hardware store filled with bar code scanners and electronic cash registers.

Should I be concerned about accidents at nuclear power plants?

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission reports that safety-related systems in all 103 U.S. nuclear plants are ready for 2000. Even Chernobyl, the notorious nuclear plant in Ukraine, purports to be Y2K-ready. "We have conducted tests and are certain now the main computer will pass the changeover," Chernobyl's Y2K expert, Anatoliy Iliichev, told the Associated Press. Asked about the backup computer, Iliichev held up his forearm, pointed to his digital calculator watch and said, "Brand new batteries."

How much will the federal government spend eradicating Y2K bugs?

The Office of Management and Budget estimates that, by September 2000, the federal government will have spent $8.38 billion on Y2K-related problems. As part of that figure, the Federal Aviation Administration said it had spent $368 million -- the price of two 747s -- fixing its systems. The Pentagon spent $3.6 billion, enough to buy an aircraft carrier. The White House shelled out $23 million, enough for a tanker's worth of Michelob, a crate of t-shirts imprinted with the slogan "We're Gonna Party Like It's 1999" and a steamy, hip-swivelin' command performance by Christina Aguilera. President Clinton said he planned a quiet evening at home with friends.

What's this I hear about champagne shortages?

In some parts of the world, true French-made champagne will be scarce, usually because of parsimonious party-planners. Revelers will be plied with domestic sparkling wine and, in some situations, ginger ale chilled with floating scoops of store-brand sherbet. Do not panic. The situation can be remedied by uttering cutting comments about your hosts to anyone within earshot.

Is my Furby Y2K-compliant?

Tiger Electronics, Furby's manufacturer, cautions that some Furbies may turn feral at 12:01 on Jan. 1 and begin gorging on household pets and small children. Tiger stresses that there is no cause for alarm, but the company strongly recommends letting your Furby sleep through the New Year, preferably in a locked metal box buried at least 16 feet underground.

Who is Peter de Jager, and where will he be on New Year's Eve?

De Jager is a Canadian computer consultant who wrote one of the first articles warning the world about Y2K, back in 1993. Since then, he has been the self-appointed Paul Revere of the millennium bug, alerting corporations, IT professionals and national governments to the dangers of Y2K. In the process, he has developed a taste for seeing his name in the media; he now gravitates toward microphones with the single-mindedness of a congressman up for reelection.

In 1997, when I asked him where he would be on New Year's Eve this year, he had a pre-fab answer at the ready: "I will be in a place called Doolin, a small fishing village in West Clare, Ireland. They have two bars. There's good food, good conversation and no computers." After the New Year arrived, he planned to "take a long nap."

Since then, de Jager has changed his plans to something a little higher-profile. Now, he'll be on a plane, flying from Chicago to London to demonstrate his faith in the people who prepared the world's air traffic control systems for the calendar-flip. And, according to an essay on his Year 2000 Web site, he'll be cuddling up to the press during the flight: "I'll actually be doing an interview with a reporter at the fateful moment."

Who is Jewel, and where will she be on New Year's Eve?

Jewel is the banshee-throated chanteuse from Alaska, and on New Year's Eve, one place she won't be is the Sullivan Sports Arena in Anchorage. The Associated Press reported that her millennial engagement there was cancelled in part because of a fear of the Y2K bug, and in part because only 1,000 of the 8,000 available tickets were sold over the course of a month. (Many grandiose celebrations have been canceled due to global Y2K apathy and a little-known millennial affliction called homebody syndrome.)

Wherever Jewel is when 2000 arrives, she'll be well conditioned for any worst case scenarios: When she was growing up in Homer, Alaska, her home had no TV or running water, and as an aspiring singer in San Diego, she lived in a van.

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