Blunted on Reality

Dear Blunted,

I love questions that have a clear answer.

The flaw in the example you cite -- "You wanna go out sometime?" -- isn't that it's too blunt, but that it's too vague. What you need is a date, a time and an event. Ignore the murky realm of "asking a girl out" and concentrate on the specifics of the proposed activity. Then she can say yes or no without necessarily committing to wanting or not wanting to go out with you, which is only fair: How can she know until she's tried it? And if she's sensitive to the awkwardness of it, and appreciates how much effort it took you to ask her, a no could mean that she prefers Stockhausen to Varese, or she thinks that Green Day are losing their edge what with the rock-star lifestyle and all. Instead of, like, you are such a loser for even thinking I'm in your league.

So do this: Get some tickets to an event. It doesn't have to be an expensive event, but it has to have a starting time and a location. Even if she doesn't like you, she might like No Doubt. Of course, she might ditch you inside the gate, but that would simply mean that you went out with her only once. You're just gathering material for a novel on how to date anyway, right? You didn't really expect her to stick around and rub against you.

The exact words are as follows: April/Mandy/Michele/Chloe/Moon Unit, I have a couple of tickets to see _________ next Tuesday at the Warfield; would you like to come with me?