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"Scam" ads the norm Trail Mix: Hillary haters spam cyberspace Gunning for the center Democrats make Hillary legit The blundering pundit Don Giuliani Campaign video: |
Don Giuliani | page 1, 2 At dusk, on a street in Seville, Don Giuliani asks Teitelbaumo if his campaign can now come out in favor of posting only nine commandments in schools. Puzzled, Teitelbaumo disavows him of the idea. The Heads That Talk appear, explaining how Don Giuliani's illness makes him more human to the common Spaniard. Suddenly, Paparazzo arrives on the scene with sketches of Don Giulianni and Donna Judi in various compromising positions like the parade of drunken Irishmen, and various famous Seville hotspots.
The townsfolk turn and face Don Giuliani to see what his reaction will be. In the background, Emperor Pataki appears, with Lazio trailing behind him. Damato, the clown who mocks all, suddenly finds himself with a bad case of laryngitis. The disease seems to be a curse from the Gods; most of the Heads That Talk, the ones who previously favored Don Giulianni over Hillario, find themselves unable to speak. After much anticipation, Don Giuliani stands before the townspeople and declares, in a moving aria, "I rely on Donna Judi, and she helps me a great deal. And I'm going to need her more now than maybe I did before." (Upon hearing this, the Inne keeper buys a beach house.) Don Giuliani says he and Donna Hanna are over, finished, kaput. "I don't really care about politics right now," sings Don Giuliani, his hands tightly, desperately gripping the lectern, his eyes cast downward, singing sotto voce. "I'm thinking about my family/The people that I love/and what can be done that's honest and truthful/and that protects them the best." Applause erupts among the townsfolk for his confessional. "Honest and human," declare the Heads That Talk. But suddenly Donna Hanna emerges from the Mansion of Gracie and, weeping, berates her soon-to-be-erstwhile husband. She says she had no idea that Don Giuliani was ending their marriage. "I had hoped to keep this marriage together," she sings. "For several years it was difficult to participate/in Don Giuliani's public life because of his relationship/with one of his staff members." (Spotlight on Donna Cristyne standing with Emperor Pataki and other noblemen.) "I made a major effort to bring us back together," Donna Hanna sings, as almost everyone on stage is moved to tears. "Don Giuliani and I reestablished/some of our personal intimacy through the fall. At that point/He chose another path." The Heads That Talk begin holding their noses while they proclaim Don Giuliani all but a non-entity. Which they do, over and over and over for days. Emperor Pataki prepares a small reception for Don Giuliani, but he instead goes to play golf with Teitelbaumo. "What will happen?" Papparazzo cries. "What will become of the mayor of Seville?" On the golf course, Donna Cristyne appears, but Don Giuliani mocks her pleas to him to mend his ways. Teitelbaumo returns, stammering that Emperor Pataki has sent a messenger to join them on the links. The dark figure appears and asks Don Giuliani to accompany him on a walk. Declaring that he fears nothing, Don Giuliani accepts and clasps the figure's outstretched hand. The figure demands that Don Giuliani repent, but he refuses, whereupon demonic voices howl at him that his earthly crimes will pale in comparison to the tortures that await him in Hell. Don Giuliani disappears. Donna Hanna, Emperor Pataki, Lazio, Damato, the Heads That Talk, Papparazzo, Hillario and the townsfolk arrive, and Teitelbaumo tells them of his master's demise. Lazio and a few other randoms announce that they look forward to running against Hillario, Teitelbaumo decides to search for a new master, and Donna Hanna announces that she has just been offered a role in an opera called "The Vagina Arias." Final curtain.
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