To help with the effort, some of the biggest Gore backers in the entertainment industry have been leveraging their fame to try to bring disenfranchised voters back into the Democratic Party's fold.

But Nader isn't the only third-party candidate who threatens to steal votes from the vice president. Recently, we received these two letters -- the first from actor Martin Sheen, the second from pop singer Mandy Moore -- alerting us to a heartening new development in the final stretch of the presidential race: More and more celebrities are voicing their rejection of third-party candidates and coming out in force for the Vice Big Dog.

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Why I, Martin Sheen, am not voting for the Church of God Party's Clifford Catton

Dear Friend,

Earlier in the presidential campaign, you may have seen a commercial for the National Rifle Association narrated by my sound-alike brother, Joe Estevez. This was a devious trick designed to suggest that I, President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet of TV's "The West Wing," do not think Al Gore has what it takes to be this nation's commander in chief.

Of course I should have seen it coming, as it's been better than seven years since Joe last embarrassed the family, that being the time he costarred in "Beach Babes From Beyond Infinity" with Jacqueline Stallone, Joey Travolta and Don Swayze. I'm certainly not the first president (real or pretend) to have a deadbeat leech for a brother.

With this letter, I hope to set the record straight by urging you to support the vice president, rather than waste your vote on a third-party candidate who has no hope of winning the election.

As detailed on his Web site, Clifford Catton of the Church of God Party launched his bid for the White House on a single issue: his belief that, since 1981, U.S. Postal Service employees have been stealing his mail. Of course, it's obvious that Mr. Catton is only being paranoid -- postal workers steal everyone's mail. They are lawless, feral creatures who tear up your pension checks and make little hand-puppet fish from the envelopes, putting on bawdy shows for one another behind rows of prefab particle-board shelves while pretending to look for your dented and water-damaged eBay treasures.

But widespread postal theft can best be addressed by voting for Al Gore, the candidate who spent four months in the jungles of 'Nam, where you learn quickly that the penalty for stealing another soldier's perfumed letters might be no one to watch your back when the hot metal rain pours down from Charlie snipers wedged 60 feet up in the jackfruit trees.

Certainly, you'll agree that nothing can be gained for the progressive cause by throwing away your vote on a third-party candidate whose quest for the presidency is more futile than my fat brother Joe's search for a hummer during the three-year period of Heidi Fleiss' incarceration.

If you want a president who will be the most like I am on television, that is, a president who will speak in a droning, modulated voice, who will wear blue jeans on Saturdays and who will appoint John Amos of "Good Times" as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, then that president is Vice President Al Gore. A vote for Clifford Catton, on the other hand, is a vote for George W. Bush. Actually, it's half a vote for Bush, a third of a vote for Pat Buchanan -- the remaining fifth or so of your vote would go to syndicated columnist Dave Barry. The system is overly complicated, I know.

Sincerely,

Martin Sheen,
A proud friend of Al's

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