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And the weiner is ...
Opinions are like Oscars -- everyone's entitled to one.

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By Carina Chocano

March 21, 2000 | Admit it. You love them. You love them for the way they make you feel -- furious and nauseated and full of piss.

Every year you say you'll never watch them again, and every year you watch them again. Why? Because no one ever said the Oscars were fair, and there's nothing like injustice to make you feel morally superior.

So in the spirit of throwing snack foods at the television screen, Salon People's first-ever weekly poll asks you to predict this year's most predictable Oscar moments.

And the nominees are ...

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Nominee most likely to be reduced to tears by Joan Rivers:

Nominee most likely to sacrifice every last shred of dignity in return for fleeting audience approval:

Nominee most likely to expose self as self-aggrandizing megalomaniac:

Nominee most likely to be dogged by prurient cameras as he or she is egregiously robbed of recognition yet again:

Nominee most likely to be pulled offstage by smiling bimbot:

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Click submit if you want to see your responses shamelessly co-opted and condensed into a chewable, bite-size pill. You will not be credited. You will not be thanked. You will not be paid except in back-end points. Check back next Tuesday for a new poll and to see how we've butchered your words.

Ciao.
salon.com | March 21, 2000

 

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About the writer
Carina Chocano is the associate editor of Salon People.

Table Talk
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