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2. Celine Dion: The question is direction. In her backward tuxedo there's no way of knowing whether "Diva Dion" is coming or going -- a profusion of confusion.

3. Queen Elizabeth: From her Majesty to her Travesty. The queen's cartoon makeover is the talk of the town! Was she the palace Christmas tree or just a royal clown?

A Blackwellian nightmare By Martha Barnette

4. Martha Stewart: Dresses like the centerfold for the Farmer's Almanac. She's a 3-D girl: dull, dowdy and devastatingly dreary. Definitely not "a good thing."

5. Fiona Apple: A kinked and curled Kewpie doll, wrapped in a collection of yesterday's fashion frights!

6. Britney Spears: Wearing over-the-top fashion flops unfit even for a bubblegum queen. This belly-baring songbird is better heard than seen!

7. Sarah Jessica Parker: From "Sex and the City" Sarah's fashions are a mix and match pity. Are they too much too soon, or too little too late?

8. Jennifer Aniston: When it comes to Jennifer, she's a fashion bore and a snore. Here's the fashion buzz: Brad Pitt looks better in a dress than she does!

9. Cameron Diaz: On "Any Given Sunday" Cameron falls prey to freaky fashion curse -- and as the week continues, she just slips from bad ... to worse.

10. The Dixie Chicks: They look like a trio of truckstop fashion tragedies trapped in a typhoon -- some days a little bit wacky, but most of the time ... tacky, tacky, tacky!

salon.com | Jan. 11, 2000

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