The Marital Girl has apparently neglected to invite her brother Martin Ciccone to her blowout wedding on Friday, leaving him instead to nurse his hurt in the L.A. rehab center where he's been drying out.

"I'd jump on a plane tomorrow. I don't think my sister realizes how much I love her," Martin, one of Madonna's seven siblings, told the U.K. Mirror earlier this week. "It looks like I'll be staying [home]. I'm a casualty of my own life."

But, although one of Martin's rehab buddies attests that Madonna's bro has "talked of little else since learning about the wedding," he himself insists he's "not bitter."

"At times, my sister has been good to me," he says, wistfully. "It would be nice to be there on her big day."

Maybe Gwyneth will send him some pictures.

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At least put a towel down

"When you're doing scenes in a car, you can actually do the scene with your pants off, just in your shorts or your underwear. The car is usually hot. This way, you can be cool but have a tux up on top."

-- Wesley Snipes, sharing cool advice he claims was passed along to him by Sean Connery.

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When Puffy's girl gets huffy

Avert your eyes.

Recent rumors about Jennifer Lopez may reveal more about the diva than her infamous Grammy dress. According to Worldpop.com, Lopez didn't make a whole lot of friends during a recent stop in Paris (where she checked into her hotel under the name Jan Brady) to promote her new single "Love Don't Cost a Thing."

Traveling via private jet with an entourage of 30 people -- including a personal assistant, four bodyguards, four managers, a makeup artist, two hairdressers, two stylists, a choreographer and six dancers -- the singer apparently showed up two hours late for an appearance on the French TV show "Hit Machine."

Then, when she did arrive at the station, she reportedly pitched a massive fit, threatening to cancel her appearance when she discovered that her dressing room was painted an unsuitable color and lacked the white lilies she requires. She then began to issue a variety of demands, including that her room be instantly outfitted with a special makeup table with 500-watt lights.

"It's been a nightmare," one runner for Lopez said of the diva's swing through Europe to promote her album, "J.Lo." "Absolute chaos."

No ifs, ands or butts.

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Meg Ryan's not Russell Crowe's only fan

"'Gladiator' is by far my favorite movie ... It's a movie I would watch over and over because of how inspiring it is."

-- Fabio, giving Maximus Lucius two biceps up, in People.

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Confessions of a dull guy

Poor Hugh Grant. Just when Liz Hurley has finally stopped publicly dissing him and their yawn-inducing love life, he's begun bashing himself on her behalf.

"Basically my life is so boring, it's embarrassing. I would love to be a jet-setter, flying off to parties in New York and Monte Carlo," Grant told the German magazine Hoer Zu. "Obviously I was simply too dull for Liz."

But the actor also lent a little credence to claims that he and Hurley were driven apart after 13 years because she was far more glued to the spotlight than he. "Believe me when I say I have no ambition to have my face in front of the camera when I'm 50 or 60," he says. "I hope to do something better with my life someday."

He also hopes to be surrounded by better people. "Actors only ever think about their faces or why their agents won't answer the telephone," Grant says. Uh-oh. When Hugh Grant starts to sound like the voice of reason, something is very, very wrong ...

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