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I have seen the future: It's Tenacious D
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Nothing Personal
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Amy Reiter

Conger line
Former TV bride to bare all for Playboy; James Woods on the similarities between cradle robbing and pet owning; and troubled water under the bridge? Art Garfunkel is sounding sort of conciliatory these days ...

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By Amy Reiter

April 27, 2000 |  So much for "I just want my privacy back."

Blushing "Multimillionaire" bride Darva Conger has reportedly agreed "in principle" to pose for Playboy in an upcoming issue wearing nothing but a smile.

"She hasn't signed anything yet, but all the signs are heading in that direction. I would be very surprised if it didn't happen," Playboy spokesman Bill Farley told the New York Post this week.

And, Farley stressed, we're talking full-frontal nudity here, folks. Nothing coy like, say, hiding the goods behind a bridal veil. "We discovered years ago that our readers get very upset if we promise and don't deliver," he told the paper.

The photo spread (for which Conger would reportedly collect a six-figure fee) would, however, be "tasteful" and allow Conger "to tell her story." Again.

But while Farley's colleague, Elizabeth Norris, confirms that, if a deal were to be struck, Conger would appear in a "celebrity pictorial" rather than as a Playmate of the Month, she stresses that nothing's a done deal yet.

"We do know her," she tells me. "She has been to some parties at the mansion." What's more, she says, "We think she's a real fox."

Interesting choice of words.

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In case you wondered

"It's fun being me. Of course, there are a lot of bad days. But I try to be positive. I have a lot of good days, as well."

-- Britney Spears on the unbearable lightness of being Britney Spears.

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The worms crawl in; the worms crawl out

Afraid of death? Not Peter Fonda.

"When I die, I don't want to put some lead-lined casket around me that will keep the bugs away for centuries," Fonda mused at the Avignon Film Festival in New York this week. "That's like wrapping myself in tinfoil -- what a waste of underground property. A casket just delays things. I want to get my synergy with those worms as fast as I can," he said.

And worms everywhere whipped out their autograph books.

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Sic him

"If you ever bought a dog, what did you buy? You bought a fucking puppy... You don't buy a 13-year-old German shepherd. You buy a nice young puppy -- what are you, crazy?"

-- James Woods, 53, on why he's dating 19-year-old actress Alexy Thorn.

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Juicy bits

When Bruce Willis makes his three-episode appearance on "Friends" during the May sweeps, he'll not only be endearing himself to the NBC number crunchers -- he'll be helping out a few needy organizations. The Associated Press reports that Willis will donate his "Friends" earnings to five charities dedicated to AIDS research, underprivileged kids and rape treatment. Kinda puts all that alleged money-grubbing on the part of the show's regular cast in perspective, doesn't it?

The rumor around Washington is that serial husband Newt Gingrich is gonna make an honest woman out of his former mistress, Callista Bisek. According to the Washington Post, the two are planning to wed on Aug. 18. He better not wear white.

Da-dum, da-dum ... Kevin Spacey is reportedly in talks with MGM about playing Inspector Clouseau in a new Pink Panther movie. All together now in your cheesiest French accents: "Does your dog bite?"

Did Simon and Garfunkel break up way back when because of a wee misunderstanding? Art Garfunkel recalls it that way. "The main reason we split was because, at a certain moment, I felt like taking a pause, to rest for a little bit," Garfunkel recently told the London Times. "Paul took it as the end of our cooperation. He said he would never work with me again. But you should ask him now ... I would really love to hear what his answer would be." Who wouldn't?

Remote controls at the ready. Variety reports that NBC is fast-tracking a biopic of Natalie Cole in hopes of having it on-screen by the end of the year. "My life has had so many different dynamics to it. I don't know how they're going to get it all in there," Cole told the trade mag. "They've certainly got a great story on their hands. I look back at my life and say, 'I did that?'" So much for unforgettable ...
salon.com | April 27, 2000

 

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About the writer
Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.

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