To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People April 20, 2000 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/2000/04/20/npthurs Nothing compares 2 a big promotion Sinéad kicked up the stairway to heaven. No wonder they're divorcing: Montel's wife claims they've been together for 60 lifetimes! Plus: Holy Madonna! Here comes Material Nipper No. 2! - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter Nothing compares 2 this. Q Online reports that Mother Bernadette Mary (aka Sinéad O'Connor) has been promoted by the Tridentine Church, the Catholic splinter group that ordained her as a priest a year ago. Her new title: archdeacon. Tridentine Archbishop Michael Cox, notorious for taking confessions over the phone, has also made the singer an honorary doctor of divinity in divine healing. "Sinéad has been given special powers of healing," contends the archbishop. "She has a very good spirit. This appointment is because of her work with the sick and the homeless in Dublin." Cox plans to travel to Dublin to present O'Connor with an official certificate. "These are 100 percent genuine documents," he says. "They have been validated by the Sacred Council of Trent." Just so long as she doesn't tear them up on live TV ... - - - - - - - - - - - - Wannabe "I'd like to be a female Sly Stallone, or Bruce Willis' sidekick in a film where I get to save the world." -- Sporty Spice Mel C on her on-screen ambitions, in the British magazine Hello! - - - - - - - - - - - - Lofty ambitions: Squashed Money can't buy you love ... and fame can't buy you co-op board approval. Heather Graham and Edward Burns' bid for the $2 million Tribeca loft formerly owned by John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette has been turned down. It seems the building's co-op board just didn't think the celebrity couple was right for the place. "We won't be living there, unfortunately," Graham told Fashion Wire Daily. "We didn't get it." Oh, the woes of Manhattan real estate. - - - - - - - - - - - - What part of "woman woman" don't you understand? "I'll tell you who I think is incredibly sexy: Susan Sarandon. She is a woman woman. And Sharon Stone. I like her ... You know how a little girl cannot be a woman but a woman can be a little girl? That's a quality I like in these women." -- Matthew McConaughey on Hollywood actresses he digs, in the upcoming Us Weekly. - - - - - - - - - - - - The horrors of huskihood Is Jon Favreau a fat man trapped in a leading man's body? At a party for the upcoming flick "East to East" this week, the "Swingers" star told gossip conduit Baird Jones that, although he lost almost 50 pounds for a recent role, he feels that "underneath I am a fat person." "I was a fat person as a kid, and after my casting days are over I am absolutely certain I will again be a fat person," says Favreau. "I intend to let it all go and just waddle around the backyard." Go ahead, call him "lard ass." Just don't call him ... "husky." "I just hate, hate, hate the word 'husky,'" he says. "Like when a store sells clothing 'husky size' or a food in a restaurant is called a 'husky serving.' 'Fat' or 'jumbo' or 'hefty' completely roll off me but I just hate that word 'husky.'" Got that? - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Did Montel Williams' estranged wife, Grace, really throw the talk show host's clothes out the window of their $10 million Connecticut home when she decided it was time to split? Absolutely not, she says, "I put his stuff out neatly, covered with plastic so it was protected until it was collected." What's more, she tells the San Jose Mercury News, divorce or no divorce, their hearts will go on: "Psychics say the two of us have been together in every life before this one. Between us, we've had 60 lives and in each we've been together." No wonder she got bored. Little Lourdes may soon have a little ... brother. The U.K. Sun reports that Madonna's expecting a baby boy. I'd say they have a 50-50 chance of being correct. The wood man and the hollow man are about to get a little competition from a plastic doll. A nonprofit, nonpartisan women's group called the White House Project has teamed up with Mattel to market a "Barbie for President" doll, due out next month. The group's president, Marie Wilson, told Reuters, "President Barbie represents possibilities -- and girls need to know that becoming president is possible." But only if your measurements are 38-18-24. salon.com | April 20, 2000   - - - - - - - - - - - - About the writer Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.