To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People April 17, 2000 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/2000/04/17/npmon A good idea at the time Oh, joy! Dixie Chicks' ode to O.J. pulled from playlists. Britney Spears covers "Satisfaction" ... trust her, she says; and everything you ever wanted to know about panda sex but were afraid to ask. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter O.J. Simpson's got an unlikely batch of fans: The Dixie Chicks. Why, the Grammy-winnin' gals have even dedicated a song to him. Lead singer Natalie Maines tells the upcoming issue of TV Guide that she and her band mates call their song "Goodbye Earl" (about a woman who plots with her best girlfriend to murder her abusive husband) their "ode to O.J. Simpson." "Initially when we heard it, we just thought it was so funny," Maines says. She's a little baffled by the rash of radio stations that have pulled the song from their playlists. "We're not saying kill your husband if he touches you," explains Maines. "It was more [like], 'This is a bad character, and these girls are going to do something really bad to him, but don't take it too seriously.'" Maybe, but if I were O.J., I'd stay away from any funny-tasting black-eyed peas for a while. - - - - - - - - - - - - Bedeviled "I don't know anyone who isn't scared of her. She has very high standards for everything, and anyone who doesn't live up to them suffers." -- Hugh Grant, explaining why he considers girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley's role as the devil in "Bedazzled" to be "typecasting," in Glamour. - - - - - - - - - - - - Britney one more time Is it just me, or were Britney Spears' PR people working overtime last week? First they had the singer spinning her decision to record a cover of (cover your ears, Stones fans) "Satisfaction" for her second album -- as, like, this great flash of ingenuity on her part. "I had this idea to do a remake of 'Satisfaction,' and the record company was like, 'No, we can't do that!'" Spears told the U.K. teen pop mag Smash Hits, adding that she refused to take no for an answer. "I just said, 'Trust me, it's gonna be hot!'" Like, totally. Then there she was, baby, one more time on Friday, when the Associated Press reported that fans would soon have their chance to watch the navel-flashing phenom get leied. She'll be filming a one-hour Fox TV special next month in Hawaii that will feature her giving a free concert in Waikiki, swimming with dolphins, dancing hula and making leis. Where's Don Ho to lend some gravity to the affair when you need him? But the best is yet to come. We're waiting for the Spears camp to respond to royals reporter Peter Archer's nasty slight in People magazine. Prince William, he says, does think Britney is "good-looking, but he doesn't like her music -- I think he gave the CDs she sent to Harry." Spin that! - - - - - - - - - - - - As long as it's for a good cause "I'm naked and I'm covered in fake blood and it makes you contemplate: 'Am I doing this for a good reason?'" -- Guinevere Turner on how glad she was to "actually experience the faux-killing feeling" while shooting "American Psycho," in the Winnipeg Sun. - - - - - - - - - - - - Is that a bamboo shoot in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Move over, Mr. Dole. The next Viagra spokesman may be a whole different animal -- and a much cuter, furrier one at that. News out of China is that scientists will soon give pandas the famous impotence drug to boost their sex lives and rescue them from extinction. According to the Beijing Youth Daily, "The male panda can only mate for 10 to 20 seconds at a time, and hence the chances of getting the female pregnant are very low. With Viagra, the male could mate for up to 20 minutes." Well, OK then! But the Times of London reports that the other pharmacological attempts to increase male pandas' interest and staying power have failed miserably. "We tried to give them Chinese medicine in the mid-1990s," Zhang Hemin, a panda center director, told the paper. "As a result, the sex drive of the pandas did improve but they also became hot-tempered and attacked the females. That obviously wasn't so good and we had to end the experiment." "The real problem," Zhang explained, "is that many pandas don't know how to mate." Maybe a nice candlelit dinner for two, a couple of glasses of wine and some Barry White on the CD player would do the trick. - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Not all made-for-TV movies are equal. "The Marge Schott Story," USA Network's planned flick about the personality-challenged former owner of the Cincinnati Reds, is proving to be a bitch to make. In fact, USA's Adam Shapiro told USA Today that it might not happen at all. "We're not out to trash her," Shapiro said, "but portraying her in a sympathetic light is difficult." Sounds like it's time for a letter-writing campaign. This is Christina Aguilera's head on pot ... er ... pot on head. The U.K. Sun reports that a flowerpot plummeted from a balcony onto the young Grammy winner's head during a night out at the New York club Pastis. (Oh my God, you guys!) Enrique Iglesias reportedly helped Aguilera to her feet. "Christina's fine, but she had a lucky escape," a spokesman told the paper. Quips one NP reader, "I'd happily take a flowerpot on the head for Enrique." How sweet! Nike's PR troubles are not over. The BBC reports legendary bluesman Bo Diddley is suing the company because it used his name and image without permission when it peddled thousands of T-shirts that said "You don't know Diddley." "This is a clear case of the big bully picking on the little guy," Diddley's manager Margo Lewis told the press. "Apparently Nike really doesn't know Diddley." Just do it? Sounds like they just blew it. salon.com | April 17, 2000   - - - - - - - - - - - - About the writer Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.