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Bedfellas
James Haven tut-tuts the tsk-tsking; the Royal Philharmonic Meat Loafs around; and Cage and Arquette, together again? Plus: Tom Jones takes a panty to the head.

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Amy Reiter

Come to daddy
Hello, Gonzálezes! Elián's dad and stepmom sure are cute! Plus: Sarah Ferguson calls the kettle fat; James Haven can't stop the madness; and Hugh Grant to grant you the pleasure of his presence in "Bridget Jones's Diary."

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By Amy Reiter

April 10, 2000 |  OK, show of hands: How many of you spent Friday a.m. gazing at your morning paper and marveling over how strikingly attractive Elián González's father is?

Admit it, you did.

I did.



Amy Reiter

Amy Reiter's column appears daily on the People site, Monday through Friday.

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Got a hot tip? Tell Amy!



All my friends did.

And let's face it. Juan Miguel González, flanked by his equally photogenic wife and baby son, probably had an inkling, too.

"What do I have to do to prove I love my child?" González reportedly asked Rep. Jose Serrano, D-N.Y., last week.

Answer: Show photos of his adorable family to Janet Reno.

Immediately after receiving the pics, Reno issued a statement saying she intends to "take every step to ensure that a transfer occurs in a fair, prompt and orderly manner." And González himself declared, "I'm sure ... that soon I'll have my son with me."

Because really, Castro-shmastro, who among us can't wait to drool over those reunion photos in our morning papers ...

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The king of content?

"There's gold in them IPOs."

-- Robin Williams, whose half-hour weekly show debuted this week on Audible.com, on his lofty motivations for hopping into the Net, in Time Digital.

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Watching other people's weight

I sure hope Sarah Ferguson's daughter is forgiving.

If my mother ever blabbed to the press that I was beginning to "put on weight" and that she was worried I'd turn into an all-out porker, I'm not sure I'd be too happy about it.

But such matters apparently do not concern the Duchess of York, who recently aired those very concerns about her eldest daughter, Beatrice, in Celebrity Dish magazine.

"I think it's good to be honest with children because if you're not honest that's when the secret eating comes in," says Fergie.

When she herself was a kid, she says, she became a compulsive eater because "I was never allowed to express my emotions."

"I see myself as a mother who has gone through an awful lot," she adds. "And if that's going to help, then I hope it does and I'll just keep talking about it."

Clearly.

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Dirty ol' lady

"I work clean but I don't talk clean at home. I like filthy jokes ... private dirty jokes just for doctors in the operating room, to keep them happy and interested, so they don't fall asleep while they're operating."

-- Phyllis Diller on talking dirty at age 82.

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Juicy bits

What is with that James Haven? Angelina Jolie's brother has been telling anyone who'll listen that he and his sister are close, but not -- you know -- incestuously close, and that rumors to the contrary are "sick." Then he goes and tells USA Today that he's thinking of taking a page from Jolie and getting a tattoo. And just what would he get etched into his epidermis? "Angelina's name." Just as long as he doesn't tell us where ...

Hugh Grant is in negotiations to co-star with Renee Zellweger in "Bridget Jones's Diary," which will be adapted by screenwriter Richard Curtis, the man behind "Notting Hill" and "Four Weddings and a Funeral." "They've been pestering me about it for six months," Grant recently told the London Telegraph, "so I think I ought to do it really. It's all agreed, though I haven't signed anything." V. predictable.

Will someone please cheer up Ingmar Bergman? I'm worried about him. Last week, the 81-year-old director told a Swedish TV station that since his wife's death in 1995, he's "immensely indifferent to whether I keep on living." He's also talking suicide: "It is terrifying to become a vegetable and be a burden to others. But you can decide yourself if you want to go ... I hope I have enough sense left if I get that bad, to be able to plan and organize it." If that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is.

Jesse Ventura's leaping into the writing ring again. The Associated Press reports that the Minnesota governor will release his second book, "Do I Stand Alone? Going to the Mat Against Political Pawns and Media Jackals," in September. "Basically, it's his political philosophy and what we need to do to make things better," said Ventura's literary agent. Maybe, but I'll bet there'll be an "I don't wear undies" or an "I want to be reincarnated as a size DD bra" revelation in there somewhere.

Still milking it: Rick Rockwell. The multimillionaire annulee is launching a matchmaking Web site called sbforlove.com. A quick visit to the site, which officially debuts today, reveals that the "sb" stands for successful bachelors and bachelorettes. Bonus: Rockwell himself is the site's "successful bachelor of the month." Well, he certainly wasn't a successful groom.
salon.com | April 10, 2000

 

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About the writer
Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.

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