To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People March 17, 2000 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/2000/03/17/npfri A dress makes the heart grow Fonda Julia feels for HRC; Jane falls for Vera Wang. Plus: Will she or won't she? 'Course she will! Darva Conger makes it last and last. And: Hoax on us! Esquire's fabricated "It" girl now actual "It" girl. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter Is the first lady Julia Roberts' top girl? In an Us Weekly interview, Roberts jokes that if she had to have sex with a woman, she'd pick Hillary Rodham Clinton "'cause I don't think she's getting her fair share." Hyaw-hyaw-hyaw ... But wait, that's not all, folks. Roberts again pays homage to Clinton later in that same interview as she addresses the topic of her strategically enhanced bustline for her role in "Erin Brockovich." "They look completely real, don't they?" she asks, but won't say just how the illusion was created. (Word on the street is it was a Wonderbra/tape combo.) "Let's just say it took a whole village to create that cleavage." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - And speaking of bad White House humor ... UPI's Helen Thomas reports that President Clinton told a memorable joke at a recent League of Cities conference. "I heard a cute story the other day," he told the gathered city officials. "You know what a snail says when he's riding on a turtle's back? Whee!" The mayors laughed, but perhaps not for the right reasons ... - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hello, Mr. Flynt? "My father was an artist." -- Multimillionaire soon-to-be-ex Darva Conger on why she's willing to consider "tasteful" offers to pose nude, on "Today." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ode to an Oscar dress Jane Fonda's in love again. So what if the object of her affection is promised to another? Fonda had said she'd donate the Vera Wang strapless satin gown she'll wear to this year's Academy Awards to a charity auction, but she simply can't part with it, the Associated Press reports. "I've changed my mind. I'm not auctioning it off after all," Fonda said. "Seriously, I can't just wear this dress for 10 minutes on Oscar night and then turn it over to someone else yet." In fact, she gushed, "I've fallen in love with it." I give it a year. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Beware the Muzak "The dangers of passive or involuntary listening are only beginning to enter the realm of public awareness." -- British M.P. Robert Key, introducing a bill to ban Muzak from public places in the U.K. because it raises blood pressure and cholesterol levels and increases muscle tension. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits So much for TV rehabilitation. Mark Fuhrman's exclusive paid talking-head deal with "Good Morning America" was undone after ABC staffers objected. The former LAPD detective, whose racist comments came to light during the O.J. Simpson trial, will now be a "regularly featured unpaid guest" commenting on the Martha Moxley murder trial on GMA. He's free to appear on other networks. Any takers? The return of the Dancing Queen? ABBA's Agnetha Fältskog (the blond one) may come out of retirement and launch a solo career. "She is listening to various songs, and we'll see if she thinks the material seems right," her friend Staffen Linde told the Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet. "If it doesn't measure up then perhaps it won't happen." C'mon, Agnetha, take a chance on it. I wanna be ... outta the race? Former Sex Pistols mastermind Malcolm McLaren is poised to abandon his bid to become the mayor of London and to back left-wing independent candidate Ken Livingstone. "He likes Ken and wants him to be mayor," a spokesman for McLaren told London's Independent newspaper. So much for anarchy in the U.K. As it was written, so shall it be. The model featured on Esquire's joke cover about the next Hollywood "It" girl, the fictitious Allegra Coleman, is, in fact, now being hailed as ... the next Hollywood "It" girl. The joke cover led to a real acting career for Ali Larter. She's now starring opposite Devon Sawa in the film "Final Destination." "I believe in destiny," Larter recently told the Toronto Sun. "I think someone is watching over me. It's too sad and morbid and unexplainable otherwise." Spoken like a true "It" girl. salon.com | March 17, 2000   - - - - - - - - - - - - About the writer Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.