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Thanks, Metatron!
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Feb. 28, 2000 | Carlos "Mr. Grammy" Santana wants the world to know that a Santa Claus-resembling angel named "Metatron" is responsible for his hit album "Supernatural." Santana tells Rolling Stone that Metatron visited him with the following message: "You will be inside the radio frequency for the purpose of connecting the molecules with the light." The strange prediction inspired him to make his new album, get back on the radio and deliver his spiritual message to the masses. Amy Reiter Amy Reiter's column appears daily on the People site, Monday through Friday.
Got a hot tip? Tell Amy! But Metatron is more than just his career counselor. "Metatron is the architect of physical life," Santana explains. "Because of him, we can French-kiss, we can hug, we can get a hot dog, wiggle our toe." Well, it's certainly more interesting than thanking the Academy! However, a close reading of the 12-page Rolling Stone profile, in which he mentions smell no less than seven times, is enough to convince anyone that the reborn guitarmeister should really be crediting his nose. For instance, he tells the magazine, it was the smell of his musician father -- a mixture of cologne, skin and sweat -- that first seduced him into a musical career. And smell that led him to the guitar: He rejected the violin because he "hated the way it smelled." His fine-tuned sniffer helped him determine his own sexual preference ("The smell of men, it makes me sick") and convinced him that his wife, Deborah, was the gal for him ("She smelled liked something I wanted to wake up next to the rest of my life"). And he knows just from the whiff of it that the spirit of Miles Davis sometimes visits him at night. "I can smell him," he maintains. "Even on the other side there is smell. Like, when babies are born, there's two smells -- one is chicken soup, which is the flesh, and the other is lilacs, which is coming from the spiritual garden. The spirit has a lilac smell." So that's what they mean by the sweet smell of success ... - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I smell a trend "They're fun to watch. I watch them, too. They're like a bad smell that you've got to keep smelling." -- David Duchovny on reality TV, on "Entertainment Tonight." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Off the bus Whatever happened to all that "song we're singing will make you happy" stuff? Erstwhile "Partridge Family" matriarch Shirley Jones and her estranged husband, Marty Ingels, have recently taken to airing their dirty family laundry in public -- or at least in the upcoming TV Guide. Ingels says he and Jones "only have problems when there are other people around. We go to a party, and I end up dancing on the table, embarrassing her. She tells me not to try so hard. She's whispering in my ear, 'Think David Niven,' and I try it, but Pee-Wee Herman is what always comes out." Jones, meanwhile, says she loves "crazy men." The problem, as she sees it, is Ingels' behavior toward her kids, Shaun, Patrick and Ryan Cassidy, whom Ingels dubs his "stepchildren from hell." "I'm tired of my sons being bashed by him," she says. "I won't have them portrayed as villains. And I've told him that I won't abide it." David Cassidy, speaking on behalf of his half-siblings, says, "My brothers and I have a standard line, which is that we have great compassion for Mr. Ingels' condition." Oh, Keith. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The mourning after "They're gone; they're over." -- Fox Television Entertainment Group Chairman Sandy Grushow on his network's reality-based TV shows, in the New York Times. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Speaking of trash TV ... Last Wednesday, Barbara Walters had a two-hour sit-down with Patsy and John Ramsey, parents of the late JonBenet. The interview will be trimmed down to one hour and run on "20/20" March 17. According to ABC News, no lawyers were present at the interview and the Ramseys, who are peddling a book, spoke about their daughter's competition in beauty pageants and addressed allegations that John Ramsey sexually abused JonBenet. Set your VCRs now. I'm sure you didn't see this one coming: Bob Guccione wants multimillionaire dumper Darva "I just want my life back" Conger to appear in Penthouse. "It would be terrific for her and for Penthouse," Guccione's spokeswoman told the New York Daily News. "It would be an opportunity to see a whole new side of her." Ahem. Methinks someone's taking the concept of bubble-gum pop a tad too far. A licensing company called Famous Fixins has announced the launch of "Britney Spears CD Bubble Gum." According to MTV, the chewy stuff will come in a CD jewel case and a portion of its proceeds will go to charity. You'd think all that exposure on "Ally McBeal" might have mellowed him, but no. Soul man Barry White may have won two Grammys last week, but he's not exactly gushing with gratitude. He's still bitter about losing out to Bette Midler for 1974's best new artist award. "I should have got it. I was the best new artist ... You don't forget things like that, man," he told Reuters last week. "You know there's something wrong. There's corruption or something going on." So much for the voice of love. "Little Voice" sings! Variety reports that British actress and vocal mimic extraordinaire Jane Horrocks has signed on to make an album. Horrocks will channel the likes of Marylin Monroe, Shirley Bassey and Judy Garland, as she did onstage and in film, but with a twist. She'll have them perform unexpected tunes. Well, I don't know about you, but I'd gladly shell out $13.99 to hear Garland belt out, say, AC/DC's "Back in Black."
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