To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People Feb. 16, 2000 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/2000/02/16/npwed The passionate Ms. Paltrow Gwyneth wants Juliette Binoche in the worst way; Pogue punkster says he'll sue Sinéad for dropping the dime on his jones; Munchkin huffers, get the hook. Plus: No! No! Say it ain't so! Kiss about to kiss off forevah! - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter Gwyneth Paltrow has been whining to the international press about the loneliness of boyfriend-free celebrityhood a lot lately, but it looks like she'll soon have someone to lock lips with. A female someone, that is ... The blond-again actress is set to play a web-footed Venetian transvestite who falls in love with a woman in a film adaptation of Jeanette Winterson's "The Passion." And the actress she'd most like to make love to onscreen? Juliette Binoche. The New York Post reports that Paltrow has informed Miramax's Harvey Weinstein of her hankering for the French star -- and he's apparently doing his best to deliver the goods. And you thought that vampy Talk magazine photo shoot was shocking ... - - - - - - - - - - - - Would you like to make a deposit, big boy? "We presume hackers have broken into the system." -- A Swedish bank spokesman on why customers saw naked babes and a phone-sex number pop up on a cash-machine screen, in a British tabloid. - - - - - - - - - - - - Nothing compares 2 your betrayal It's the priest vs. the Pogue -- and I, for one, would not want to be caught in the crossfire. The Scottish Daily Record reports that Shane MacGowan is suing his erstwhile buddy Sinéad O'Connor for tattling about his heroin habit to the police last year. MacGowan, who will face drug charges as soon as he gets out of rehab, says he thinks he can "get [O'Connor] on three counts for defamation of character." "One, she said I was an addict. Two, I was a skint [a.k.a. broke]. And three, I was incapable of functioning at any level. That's just rubbish," groused the hard-livin' Irish punkster. Stay tuned to "Saturday Night Live" to watch her rip up the court papers. - - - - - - - - - - - - Jesse loves John "I greatly respect Sen. McCain, because he's very bright in copying the method that I used in Minnesota." -- Jesse "The Ego" Ventura on how John McCain is just like him, on CBS's "Early Show" on Tuesday. - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Welcome to Munchkinland: Reuters reports that FedEx is yanking its popular "Wizard of Oz" ad, in which the Munchkins inhale helium to raise their voices, amid a tornado of complaints that it encourages teens to use inhalants to get high. "We're looking at our options to revise the spot," said company spokeswoman Carla Boyd. How about riffing off that field of intoxicating poppies? He can't hear you, Mama. According to the U.K. Sun, Phil Collins' 85-year-old mother was punched out by a gang of muggers in West London. She's OK, it seems, but Collins told the press that he's "very upset and angry." He oughta sue-sussudio. Kermit and Miss Piggy are packing their bags. Jim Henson's kids have bought Charlie Chaplin's old studios in Hollywood, and the Muppets are moving in. "The buildings are a lovable hodgepodge of quirky, unusual spaces," Lisa Henson told the BBC. "It's not your typical corporate space, but it's ideal for the Muppets." Coming soon ... the Little Tramp Muppet? Brace yourself: Kiss apparently no longer wants to rock 'n' roll all night and party every day. The group's members -- Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss -- have announced that they will release one last live album and kick off their final "Farewell Tour" in March. They're probably just dying to wash that makeup off. salon.com | Feb. 16, 2000   - - - - - - - - - - - - About the writer Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.