To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People Feb. 3, 2000 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/2000/02/03/npthurs Man's breast friend Hoochie coochie poochies? Kevin Eubanks says no doggie implants! Madonna, Winslet, Affleck on the urge to procreate; and ABBA turns down $1 billion. It's just money, money, money. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter It's always nice to see celebrities lend their names to worthy causes -- Jerry Lewis and muscular dystrophy, Kelsey Grammer and irritable bowel syndrome, Tipper Gore and depression. Still, one has to wonder if "Tonight Show" musical director Kevin Eubanks couldn't have found something a little more worthy to stamp out than "unnecessary pet breast implants." Eubanks has teamed up with John Sprengelmeyer and Rich Davis, the wacky fellows behind the online comic "Captain RibMan," to form the tongue-in-cheek "Unnecessary Implant Foundation," which aims to "bust vets for making busty pets" and "fight to keep 'ddalmations' and 'ddobermans' out of the dictionary." Davis tells me he and Sprengelmeyer hatched the faux foundation idea after they took a business trip to Beverly Hills. "Everywhere! Dogs with brassieres -- who wouldn't notice?" he says. "Trends start on the coasts, so right away my partner John and I knew trouble was brewing." They asked Eubanks for his support and, oddly enough, the musician agreed. Now his likeness can be found alongside a "censored" drawing of a chesty pooch and these inspiring words: "If we don't halt this terrible practice soon, we'll really have our hands full." Does Jay Leno know about this? - - - - - - - - - - - - And you think your mom thinks the world of you ... "I'm in awe of Wynonna Judd. She's the voice of her generation, and for me to get to stand next to her, to even be on the same stage and lend harmony to her, just blows my mind." -- Naomi Judd, bursting with gratitude about reuniting with her daughter, Wynonna, as reported by Reuters. - - - - - - - - - - - - Kiddie fever Is there something in the San Pellegrino water or what? Baby lust is sweeping through celebrity-land. "I want three or four kids," Kate Winslet tells the U.K.'s Woman magazine this week. "I adore babies and children and can't wait to be a mum." So what if she's only 24 with a career in full-bloom and a brand-new marriage? "I'm determined to become a young mother, because my own experiences of being a child and a teenager will be fresh," she says. "I want to be able to share that with my children and have more of a friendship, as opposed to a parent-child relationship." Madonna's caught the baby bug again, too, if only to save her 3-year-old daughter, Lourdes, from a life of bratdom. "I think Lola should have a brother or sister," the Ethereal Girl, currently hot and heavy with British director Guy Ritchie, tells Jane magazine. "I think she's incredibly spoiled. She needs a bit of competition." Even good-time guy Ben Affleck's afflicted. (Call in the epidemiologists!) "I want to have eight kids," Affleck exclaims in the upcoming issue of Parade. "I believe the main goal in life is to have a great family and a wonderful relationship that nourishes you." Here's wishing him good wife hunting. - - - - - - - - - - - - Doesn't that make him a pimp? "Models are prostitutes." -- Oliviero Toscani, Talk magazine creative director and controversial Benetton ad mastermind, on women who pose for a living, in the London Telegraph. - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Money, money, money: Swedish '70s superstars ABBA have turned down a $1 billion offer to reunite and go on tour. "It is a hell of a lot of money to say no to, but we decided it wasn't for us," Benny Andersson told the Swedish paper Aftonbladet. His fellow band member Bjorn Ulvaeus agreed, "We have never made a comeback. Almost everyone else has. I think there is a message in that." Mamma mia! That Super Bowl ad that showed a digitally remixed version of paralyzed actor Christopher Reeve walking across a stage apparently sent more than a few hopeful viewers rushing to their phones. "We've received a number of phone calls from persons who are paralyzed or their parents or relatives saying, 'What research institute did Mr. Reeve go to in order to receive his cure?'" a spokesman for the National Spinal Cord Injury Association told the Associated Press. Guess the ad really was more powerful than a locomotive. Now that her brief, bizarre marriage to Michael Jackson is a distant memory, Lisa Marie Presley is fixing to hitch her wagon to another musical star. "Access Hollywood" reports that Elvis' little girl is planning to make up-and-coming musician John Oszajca her third husband. And if this one doesn't work out, I understand Ben Affleck is available ... salon.com | Feb. 3, 2000   - - - - - - - - - - - - About the writer Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.