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Marketnolia
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Jan. 20, 2000 |
Oh, Tom. I've just dialed 1-877-TAME-HER, the number that flashes on-screen during Paul Thomas Anderson's film "Magnolia" as Cruise's character, motivational speaker Frank T.J. Mackey, peddles his get-laid-quick program, "Seduce and Destroy." Amy Reiter Amy Reiter's column appears daily on the People site, Monday through Friday.
Got a hot tip? Tell Amy! Yes, rather than print "555" dummy digits, the film gimmick gurus actually set up a real toll-free number. (Hollywood suits pass up a perfectly good marketing opportunity? Pitch me another one.) So, for the low-low price of nothin', callers are treated to Cruise guaranteeing to change their lives and "help you get that naughty sauce you want -- fast." And while the recorded message doesn't go so far as to proclaim, "Respect the cock and tame the cunt," as Cruise's character does in the film, it does present this interesting insight: "Language is the most underused tool in a man's arsenal -- the key to unlocking any woman's analytical ability and tap directly into her hopes, fears, desires and panties." Talk about risqué business ... - - - - - - - - - - - - And now, for my next fiasco "People that think that's a fiasco are short-minded, unintelligent in music who [don't] know anything about taking risks." -- Garth Brooks getting testy with a reporter who dared to call his Chris Gaines fiasco a "fiasco." - - - - - - - - - - - - A case for declawing ... You know it's a good cat fight when the participants' mothers start spittin' and scratchin', too. Supermodel Naomi Campbell's mom lost it after her little girl was called a "bitch" and a "complete cow" by Posh Spice Victoria Beckham on her new British TV show, "Victoria's Secrets." "In my view, Victoria can't sing and can't dance. She should go on her bended knees and thank the good God above for letting her make some money -- because the girl is talentless," Naomi's mother, Valerie, hissed to the U.K. press after Posh's disses were aired. "I mean, she's the only [Spice Girl] not to have the guts to do solo stuff because she knows she is crap." Lovely. And now a rebuttal from Victoria's mom? - - - - - - - - - - - - Easy come, easy go ... "I go to Las Vegas every year, so I'll probably wager a little more than I usually bet." -- "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" winner Dan Blonsky on how he plans to spend his new pile of cash. - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Guess what Pat DiNizio, the front man for the '80s band the Smithereens, has been dreaming of behind the wall of sleep: a U.S. Senate seat. DiNizio, a Reform Party guy, wants to replace retiring Sen. Frank Lautenberg of New Jersey. "I'm hoping that my rock star status can help get me in there so I can do some good," DiNizio recently told New Jersey's Bergen County Record. Don't go getting any fancy ideas, Huey Lewis. Looks like it's Charlie's Angels against a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania. Variety reports that Tim Curry, of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" fame, will play the villain opposite crime-fighting babes Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu in the big-screen version of the classic TV show. Let's do the Time Warp again ... It's a male adolescent fantasy come true: Rambo meets the Terminator. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are searching for a film project that would pair them on-screen for the first time. But while Schwarzenegger is said to favor a "Great Escape"-style ensemble piece, Stallone wants to play the bad guy to Arnold's good guy. Maybe they should settle this like men ...
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