To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People Oct. 1, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/1999/10/01/np101 Cross my pecs Minnesota governor yearns for a simpler life ... as an undergarment. Plus! Real life starlet tarnishes wholesome cartoon image! And, envelope please, the governorship goes to ... - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter You may think him a boob, but Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura's deepest fantasy is to be transformed into a bra. "If I could be reincarnated as a fabric," the Body confesses in the upcoming issue of Playboy, "I would like to come back as a 38 double-D bra." But perhaps not just any 38 double-D bra. A certain aging Italian actress's underwire underthing might be a top choice. "I've always been in love with Sophia Loren," says the googly-eyed gov. "She's the most beautiful woman who's ever set foot on the planet ... And I'd say Sophia's real, if you get what I mean. I don't think Sophia's been enhanced." But although he admits to having a bit of a yen for brunettes "whose bodies are real," don't be looking for a Monica Lewinsky under his desk. "There's not [one]. And there won't be," he says, explaining that his wife, Terry, wouldn't stick around if there were. "She wouldn't be married to me for power, prestige or to be the first lady," he snips. Or for tact, either. Bra-burning party, anyone? - - - - - - - - - - - - I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. Wallace "I think he was hoping that '60 Minutes' would call and offer him time after the Super Bowl to deny the rumors." -- Time's Margaret Carlson on GOP presidential hopeful Gary Bauer's "laughable," attention-seeking motives for holding a press conference Wednesday to deny obscure adultery rumors, on CNN's "Inside Politics." - - - - - - - - - - - - Oh, sugar, sugar ... Why is it that, say, a Midwestern governor can go on about big breasts, the sanitary benefits of not wearing underwear and the joys of smoking pot -- "Give someone a Hendrix tape and a joint and stick him in the corner and he's happy" -- in the flesh-flecked pages of Playboy, but a 23-year-old TV actress can't strip and tell without her career going to hell on a witch's broom? "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch" star Melissa Joan Hart is in hot water with the Archie Comics people after doffing her underthings and telling Maxim, among other things, that she slept with her ex-boyfriend on their first date, enjoys being kissed on the cross tattoo on the back of her neck ("that's just really erotic") and is getting over a deep love of tequila, which she enjoyed "anytime, anywhere, as much as I wanted." Claiming the wholesomeness of "Sabrina" was tarnished by Hart's interview and nearly nude photo spread, an "embarrassed" Archie publisher Michael Silberkleit faxed an angry letter to Viacom chief Sumner Redstone, demanding that the actress apologize and participate in an anti-drinking campaign or be fired, along with her mother, Paula Hart, the sitcom's executive producer. "If Ms Hart wants to change her image," wrote Silberkleit, "she must wait until her contract expires and must refrain from associating our Sabrina character with her personal endorsement of binge drinking, participation in pornography and discussions about sex." But Hart told USA Today that, while she has the "utmost respect" for the show and its young audience, a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do. In photo shoots, she explains, "you want people to get to know you. You exaggerate an aspect, almost like being a character, playing undress up. I got to [un]dress up and be Cindy Crawford for a day." And she might have pointed out to the jugheaded comics man that his trademark Betty and Veronica aren't exactly marching around their two-dimensional town in nuns' habits themselves. - - - - - - - - - - - - Stephanopoulos, star-struck "It was the ultimate mix of celebrity and politics. I have been to countless political events in my lifetime, but I have never seen a show quite like this." -- George Stephanopoulos, going gaga on "Good Morning America" over Warren Beatty's big speech at the Americans for Democratic Action awards ceremony Wednesday night. - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Whattaguy. Country crooner Billy Ray Cyrus held a day-long free concert for the 350 residents of tornado-struck Mulhall, Okla., Thursday, in hopes of bringing the storm-addled folks a little musical cheer. "I think the folks of Mulhall had enough to deal with this year," said Cyrus. Especially after a full day of hearing "Achy Breaky Heart" over, and over, and over ... Paul Reubens emerges triumphant from his cloud of indecent-exposure-induced shame and is heading back to the small screen. The artist formerly known as Pee-Wee has signed on to host the TV version of the wildly addictive CD-ROM trivia game "You Don't Know Jack." Say it, don’t spray it. Poor Jerry Lewis. It's not easy being him. And now, possibly adding injury to insult, the man he and his family fear most is being released from prison. Gary Benson, who was convicted of stalking Lewis back in 1995, went on Extra! Wednesday to spin his story. "I made several calls to his house and I've been to his house to meet with him," said the diagnosed schizophrenic. "I don't think, in a sense, I was stalking him." Sure. And I think, in a sense, he's wrong. Governor Ah-nuld? Terminate this. According to the November edition of Talk, Arnold Schwarzenegger is contemplating a run for the California governorship in 2002. But while the avowed Republican compares himself to Texas Gov. George W. Bush in that he considers himself a "compassionate conservative," he proves himself different in the candor department. "I inhaled, exhaled, everything," he says of his past drug use. salon.com | Oct. 1, 1999