To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People Sept. 24, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/1999/09/24/friter Touch me in the morning ... just not there. Diana Ross gets frisky, a strapless dress is risky, and while Kevin shakes the Bacon, the Reform Party's achin'. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter If Cybill Shepherd does run for president (the Reform Party says it would "welcome her" if she adhered to its principles), she may be able to count on Lucianne Goldberg's vote. In a recent column, gabbin' Goldberg dismisses White House eyeballer Donald Trump as "a man who wears more arm candy than he can lift" and vows that if her old friend Pat Buchanan's "chin music keeps up I'm going to take a serious look at Cybill Shepherd." Uh ... can we get that on tape, Lucianne? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sudden visions of double platinum "Fortunately, it wasn't on camera, but it could have helped record sales." -- Jo Dee Messina, winner of the Country Music Award's Horizon newcomer honors, on finding herself suddenly topless after someone stepped on the train of her dress backstage at Wednesday night's twangy festivities. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A clear case of "She Said; She Said" The Heathrow airport security guard who allegedly groped Diana Ross' breasts mid-frisk and was allegedly groped right back was "only carrying out her job in a responsible manner," according to airport officials. But the Supreme diva, now out of "scary" custody and back in New York City, still isn't having any of it. The guard "was obviously very aware of who I was and she became quite aggressive about the search," Ross told reporters for the London tabloids. "She touched my breasts twice, and down my back and down my thighs and between my legs ... It really felt too much of a violation to let someone rub both of their hands down the middle of your thighs and touch you in your private area ... Nobody touches me like that." Ross, who calls the episode "the worst experience of my life," further asserted, "She rubbed her hands all over my breasts." But the ultimate indignity came when the police dragged the singer off the airplane in full view of her fellow passengers, including the royal family of Brunei, without even letting her put on her shoes. "I was totally humiliated," she said. "We are required by law to hand search any passenger who activates the metal detector alarms," Heathrow officials contended. "Occasionally, high-profile celebrities take offense." And how. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Gambling man ... "I was surprised and gratified that the mayor and the city of Las Vegas had the intestinal fortitude to be so politically incorrect." -- Lt. Col. Robert K. Brown, founder and publisher of gun-lovin' Soldier of Fortune magazine, on Las Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman's decision to name Sept. 22 "Soldier of Fortune Day," after the militaristic mag opted to hold its annual convention in his city. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Burn, baby, burn ... One thing about the Bee Gees, years after their "Saturday Night Fever" heyday, they're still stayin' alive. Now Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb have been given the ultimate stamp of approval; the Isle of Man, the British Crown dependent island where they were born, is issuing six sets of stamps honoring the men who had us all -- come on, admit it -- disco-dancing in our living rooms way back when. "We're thrilled," Robin recently told the press. "Being approved by the queen -- it's a great honor." But before you start shaking in your white polyester suit at the prospect of encountering the trio's funny-looking mugs in your mailbox, take note: Island law forbids any living person apart from members of the British royal family from appearing on stamps (pop music royalty apparently doesn't count). So the Gibbs appear only on the stamp sheets -- their music is honored on the stamps themselves. And no, you can't catch "Night Fever" from licking them. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits So that's what he meant when said, "Everybody cut footloose." In Style magazine, Kevin Bacon confesses he likes to cut a little footloose at home with his family every now and then -- naked. "Not when the nanny is around," he says. "But I will with my wife and kids." Why? "There's something therapeutic about nudity ... Take away the Gucci or Levi's and we're all the same." Well, maybe not exactly the same. And you thought Diana Ross was a diva. In an upcoming W magazine interview,Kristin Scott Thomas says she won't bother to attend a movie premiere if she's not in the spotlight. "When I'm not the star, I don't want to be there," she sniffs. Now you can enjoy that violent bodice-ripping scene in "The English Patient" that much more. salon.com | Sept. 24, 1999