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Reiter

Mary Poppins Spice?
Sadistic Geri Halliwell threatens world with "nanny" role; researchers find CK cologne more romantic than rat droppings. Plus: Robin Leach's lifestyles of the naked and chocolate-covered.

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By Amy Reiter

August 5, 1999 | You may need a spoonful of sugar to help this one go down: Geri Halliwell, the artist formerly known as Ginger Spice, has been tapped to be the new Mary Poppins in a made-for-TV update of the classic Disney flick.

The peppery former nude model and pincher of Prince Charles' bum has apparently managed to clean up her act as miraculously as Mary Poppins once cleaned up a room. According to New Zealand's Dominion newspaper, Halliwell is in final talks to play a nanny who, producers say, "may or may not be" the high-flying granddaughter of the magical caregiver played by Julie Andrews. The 16-episode show, "A Spoon Full of Sugar," will begin filming in New Zealand in March.

"Geri was looking for other opportunities," Geoff Husson, production head of Britain's Cloud 9 Screen Entertainment, recently said of the bubbly belter who may soon find herself zooming up banisters and levitating with the happy-go-lucky neighborhood chimney sweep. "We think this is a really wonderful opportunity both for her and us."

It's a jolly holiday with Geri? It just doesn't have the same ring.

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Quick, alert Jerry Falwell!

"The Teletubbies are so sweet and addictive that children find they can no longer do without them. They begin watching more and more TV to try to get a feeling of warmth and happiness. The younger they are the more likely they are to become addicted."

-- Researcher Karin Boehm-Duerr on the "long-term addictive qualities" of Tinky Winky, Po and their colorful, gibberish-speaking friends.

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Obsession: The fresh new fragrance for feral felines?

If you're like me, you've spent a fair amount of time puzzling over Calvin Klein fragrance ads, trying to figure out whether the coolly askew, canoodling models are male, female, child or some combination thereof. But it turns out the face of Calvin Klein Obsession for Men cologne may as well have belonged to ... an ocelot.

Researchers at the Dallas Zoo have discovered that the CK scent drives the endangered kitties wild, encouraging them to breed more consistently than aromas more commonly found in nature.




Amy Reiter

Amy Reiter's column appears daily on the People site, Monday through Friday.

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"We ... used things like rat feces and ocelot scent," Dallas Zoo research curator Dr. Cynthia Bennett recently told Reuters. "Then on a lark my research technician brought in cologne because a lot of other animals like it and we put Obsession out and our ocelots went wild over it," rolling around in the scent like pet kitties in catnip.

Looks like those CK people have finally found the perfect replacement for Kate Moss' pickled pout -- and I bet they'll look a fair bit beefier in a pair of Klein-designed undies. (Meow ... never mind the flying fur.)

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Bond, post bond ...

"I took an ID bracelet from Woolworth's. It was innocent. I didn't know. I was pushed into it."

-- Pierce Brosnan, copping to a youthful crime at the opening of "The Thomas Crown Affair," in which he plays a high-class, high-stakes thief.

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Juicy bits

When the lifestyles of the rich, famous and overly randy get altogether out of hand, apologies occasionally ensue. But not, of course, from the rich, famous and overly randy folk themselves; it's only the people around them who must cough up a contrite "I'm sorry." The celebs themselves must obey rule No. 2 in the famous people handbook: deny, deny, deny. The Delmonico Steakhouse in Las Vegas has been reprimanded for allowing icky, sticky Robin Leach and five frisky young women to cavort naked amidst whipped cream and other sugary delights (who could forget the bare buttocks 'n hot chocolate interlude?) in full view of restaurant staff in late May. Although Leach says he and his nude and nubile pals had only "a harmless fun whipped-cream fight that lasted less than two minutes when dessert was served," the restaurant's owner, celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse, has expressed regret for Leach's "outrageous" shenanigans. "It happened, and I take responsibility," Lagasse lamented. "Who would ever dream something this bizarre would happen?" And in Las Vegas, of all places!

Where's Charlie? Back in court. Two adult film actresses and a taxi driver have filed a lawsuit against bad-boy actor Charlie Sheen and his even badder-boy bodyguard Curtis Hunt (aka "Zippy"), alleging that the pinheaded Zipster pummeled them without provocation when they made a little house call to Sheen's Malibu estate, allegedly at the "Wall Street" star's invitation. "Charlie does not want to fucking see you," Zip allegedly snipped before punching Erin Sieman in the face, knocking her to the ground, kicking her, and then turning on her friend Christina Lee Stramaglia and their driver. Where's Heidi Fleiss to smooth things over when you need her?
salon.com | August 5, 1999

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About the writer
Amy Reiter is a staff writer for Salon People. For more columns by Amy Reiter, visit her column archive.

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