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Did Little John make Robin Hood's quiver shiver?
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July 13, 1999 |
It seems that Kevin Costner's here-it-is-there-it-goes accent wasn't the
only inaccuracy in his film about the legendary master of the shakedown. After
studying the 14th century ballads of Robin Hood, Cardiff University professor of
English literature Stephen Knight has concluded that there's a flaw in the
anointment of the Prince of Thieves, contending that he might more aptly be called
"The Forest Queen," reports The Sunday Times. According to Knight, the ballads,
which provide the earliest known accounts of the perhaps-randy robber's shady
shenanigans, are rife with homoerotic hints and nuances as they detail his
relationships with his roguish band of "merrie men," including Little John
and Will Scarlet. "Robin Hood and his men are all very male and live exclusively without women,"
Knight told the London paper this week. "The ballads could not say outright that he
was gay because of the prevailing moral climate, but they do contain a great deal of
erotic imagery. The green wood itself is a symbol of virility and the references to
arrows, quivers and swords make it clear, too." Amy Reiter Amy Reiter's column appears daily on the People site, Monday through Friday.
Got a hot tip? Tell Amy! What's more, Knight notes, poor Maid Marian was nothing but a phantom beard, added to gay Hood's legend centuries later to make him appear to shoot his arrow just a little bit straighter. Not only was she not rockin' Robin's true love, he maintains, she never even existed. It was Little John, described in one ballad as "a jolly brisk blade right fit for the trade, for he was a lusty young man" (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), who was his intimate companion and with whom he had a series of "almost domestic" squabbles. All sounds quite plausible, Mr. Knight, but what then do you make of the quivering bowman's penchant for purse stealing? - - - - - - - - - - - - From "Shaft" to Chef and heating up the scene "I worked years to achieve artistic excellence, and then all of a sudden, I get involved in this stupid, crazy, insane cartoon and now I'm hotter than I've ever been." -- Isaac "Hot Buttered Soul" Hayes on the effect of "South Park" on his bigger, longer and uncut career. - - - - - - - - - - - - Media drubs Drudge -- so what else is new? Speaking of mythical marauders, Matt "I love it when you call me names" Drudge stirred up even more media ire than usual with last week's announcement that he'll host a weekly chat show on ABC Radio. Not only did ABC News chief David Westin reportedly lobby hard yet unsuccessfully to keep the free-speaking, fedora-sporting, sometimes factually challenged yet always titillating Internet gossip-monger and Fox News host out of his neck of Sherwood Forest, but John Hockenberry even got in on the Drudge-bashing while bidding audiences adieu on his canceled MSNBC show. Riffing off ever-inflammatory Drudge's recent TV-targeted tongue waggle, "If I work really hard, I suppose I could become a news anchor at ABC sitting next to George Stephanopoulos," Hockenberry quippingly queried, "What about that prediction Matt Drudge will be the president of NBC News?" But though he's gained one big gig, Drudge is less one key source. Tattling tipster Lucianne "Tripp-ing happily into the spotlight and staying as long as I can" Goldberg recently told the Washington Post's Howard Kurtz that, now that she's launched her own right-wing-huggin' cyber-blabfest, she'll let her Drudge hot line cool down some. "I've admittedly been giving a lot of stuff to Matt Drudge," she tells Kurtz, "I thought, jeez, enough already! I'll keep it myself." Sad to say, however, gabbin' Goldberg clearly has no intention of keeping it to herself. - - - - - - - - - - - - Malaysians get governmentally shagged! "There will be no loss, socially speaking." -- Malaysia Information Minister Khalil "I've lost my mojo" Yaakob, after the country made the singularly ungroovy move of banning that randiest of romps, "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me." - - - - - - - - - - - - Juicy bits Words I never thought I'd type: Sinéad O'Connor, Ireland's first pregnant priest. The recently apologetic public pope-pic ripper, known since her ordination as a Latin Tridentine priest two months ago as Mother Bernadette Marie O'Connor, is carrying her third child. (Time to let the surplice out.) The baby's father, journalist Neil Michael, told the press, "The baby is due next year and we're both really happy about it. It was a bit of a shock at first ... but we hope we can have a bit of privacy." Guess she decided against that vow of celibacy after all. Stanley Kubrick: francophone or gibberish-spouting fool? In his upcoming book about the late cinematic genius, "Speaking of Kubrick," "Eyes Wide Shut" screenwriter Frederic Raphael recounts a mystifying moment from one of his early meetings with the director. "He told me, quite seriously, that he could always appear to be able to speak French by saying, 'Cat-oo-dee,'" writes Raphael. "I was puzzled and asked him to repeat the magic phrase. He repeated, 'Cat-oo-dee,' as if he was beginning to doubt whether I knew any French at all. I said, 'Oh my God, you mean qu'as-tu dit?' 'That's right: Cat-oo-dee.' I was about to warn him that it was not wise to say 'tu' to everyone in France, but Stanley Kubrick probably could." Whatever you call our current contentious crop of U.S. senators, don't call 'em
nonbelievers -- at least not within earshot of Senate chaplain Lloyd John
Ogilvie. "There are no atheists in the Senate," Ogilvie recently told the
Washington Post, working himself up into something of a religious lather. "None.
In Washington there are many serious God-worshiping, God-seeking leaders. I
know them. I care for them. They are my people." So you see, all those Capitol
kneepads are really for genuflecting.
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