To print this page, select "Print" from the File menu of your browser salon.com > People May 21, 1999 URL: http://www.salon.com/people/col/reit/1999/05/21/major Son of gnome manufacturer chuffed to bits Former prime minister finds long-lost brother; ex-Doobie Brother (no relation to the PM) now inhaling Republican politics. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Amy Reiter And Madeleine Albright thought she had some surprising skeletons in her closet ... Working on his memoirs, former British Prime Minister John Major has discovered some family secrets that make the U.S. secretary of state's shocking ethnic revelations seem tamer than Socks the White House cat. The Times of London reports that Major has been secretly united with his American half-brother, whose existence was only just brought to the PM's attention by his eldest brother, Terry. Their father, Tom Major-Ball, was, it seems, a circus trapeze artist, music-hall actor and sometime garden-gnome manufacturer who toured America with the circus on several occasions. Friends say Major is "very excited" about the discovery of his long-hidden relative and will focus his upcoming autobiography on it. "He really is chuffed to bits," one of his close friends told the Times. "He has now found out lots of things about his early family that he did not know. He was tickled pink by it all." Next thing you know we'll hear that Margaret Thatcher is the illegitimate offspring of JoJo the Dog Face Boy. - - - - - - - - - - - - Rosie to Magnum P.I.: Plug this! "I didn't come on this show to have a debate. I came on this show to plug a movie. That's what I'm doing here." -- Actor Tom Selleck after Rosie O'Donnell went at him with both barrels for his pro-gun politics on her show - - - - - - - - - - - - The GOP: It keeps you runnin' Sonny Bono would be proud. Ex-Doobie Brothers and Steely Dan guitarist Jeff "Skunk" Baxter (the one with the Sonny-esque droopy 'stache and trademark Scottish black beret) is seriously contemplating a run for the U.S. House. Baxter, a big ballistic-missile defense fan and staunch NRA supporter (Note: "What a Fool Believes" was one of the Doobies' biggest hits), has been jamming with GOP politicos in Washington for the past few years, but his latest lick centers on the seat held by California Rep. Brad Sherman, a Democratic Harvard-educated tax attorney. He's even hired a political consultant, Dale Neugebauer, to help him move his aspirations forward minute by minute by minute by minute and to stave off questions about where he got his smellerific nickname (the Skunkster's saving that little morsel for an upcoming book). Skunk buddy and fellow California Republican Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, who sometimes riffs with Baxter on the Jew's harp (guess that's one way to go for the ethnic vote), says he fully expects his fret-fingering cohort to enter the race. "He's going to throw his beret into the ring," Rohrabacher told the Los Angeles Times. "He is trying to reach out to a variety of voters that Republicans have traditionally ignored." Like, for instance, still-stoned 1970s concert-goers who can't stop humming "China Grove"? - - - - - - - - - - - - Click if you love Jesus Care to monitor the Messiah with the click of a mouse? It's your lucky day. Taking a prophecy from the book of Ezekiel and a line from the book of Isaiah ("Upon thy walls O Jerusalem, I have set watchmen ...") very much to heart, a group of cybersavvy evangelical Christians from the U.K. has set up a camera opposite the eastern gate of Jerusalem's old city and is broadcasting its images live on Messiahcam 'round the clock, so fine folks like you won't have to miss Christ's second coming. "We believe Jesus could return close to the millennium," the group's leader, Christine Darg, told the London Telegraph. "Jews, Muslims and Christians believe He will enter Jerusalem through the gate that our 'Messiahcam' is watching daily." Hit reload all you want; JenniCam it ain't. - - - - - - - - - - - - Vote Republican or I'll shoot ... Gunning for the Republican presidential nomination, Steve "I am not a billionaire" Forbes condemned the Heritage High School shootings Thursday morning as "another act of senseless violence" and vowed to address "such evil" at the Georgia Republican Convention this weekend. Who'da thunk that, just the day before, the wealthy candidate's campaign had acknowledged that its former New Hampshire campaign manager, Peter Robbio, had resigned in April after being charged with pulling a gun on a guy he bumped into at a bar? "He is innocent until proven guilty," Forbes' national campaign manager Bill Dal Col told reporters after Fox News broke the story, adding that Robbio is welcome to volunteer for the campaign. Guess the bland candidate is in no position to turn down a little extra firepower ... salon.com | May 21, 1999