April 28, 1999 | Is attention-hungry attorney Bill Ginsburg back in Monica Lewinsky's life or what? Just when you thought maybe the Mon-ster would make it safely out of her seamy past and into a starry future, she's pulled several stunts to remind us all of the Vanity Fair-appearing, pulke-kissing early days of the scandal.

First she came completely unhinged and ended an interview early last week when National Public Radio's Terry Gross (not known for her tough questions) innocently inquired about how the former intern feels she and the prez could have "clicked at an incredible level," as she maintains, if he was engaged in a phone conversation about Bosnia while she engaged his heat-seeking missile.

Then she wigged again when "Today" host Matt Lauer asked her why, if she didn't want to "make a career out of being Monica Lewinsky," she strutted her stuff at Vanity Fair's star-studded Oscars bash. After that interview, her publisher, St. Martin's Press, abruptly canceled Lewinsky's remaining appearances. (One journalist left in the lurch claims to have heard a woman crying in the background when St. Martin's Jamie Brickhouse called to break the news.)

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But Tuesday's news that the busty babe is in talks to star in a sexy Italian-made comedy flick is more difficult to digest than a dollop of presidential DNA. Some Italian newspapers are reporting that Lewinsky has already signed a multimillion-dollar deal with Filmauro, a company owned by filmmaker Dino De Laurentis' nephew Aurelio. The movie firm's spokespeople have declined to comment, but then again, what is there left to say ...

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Terror incognita

"I haven't been on the stage for 20 years and I'm terrified, but it's not an uninteresting terror."

-- Actor Donald Sutherland ("M*A*S*H," "Klute"), preparing to walk the boards in the psychological thriller "Enigma Variations."

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Is that a banana in your Spandex shorts or are you just happy to see me?

What started out innocently enough as a simple 5K race in Seattle last weekend went a little bananas.

Organizers of the fourth-annual Edgewater 5K had arranged to have a potassium boost waiting for joggers crossing the finish line at the city's produce-packed Pike Place Market, reports the Seattle Times, and Texaco had generously agreed to donate 2,100 bananas -- the amount eaten at last year's race. So when a delivery truck unloaded 21,000 bananas, event organizers were a bit startled.

"Somebody must have put in an extra zero," said event organizer Stacy Martin. "When the truck pulled up, we were like, 'What is this?'"

After they'd run their course, ravenous racers helped themselves to bags and boxes of bananas, but the supply held out. Homeless people were summoned to feast. Still, bananas remained. Finally, 800 fine specimens were donated to a Seattle food bank and the Woodland Park Zoo. Bet it was a banner day in the gorilla cage ...

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Dr. No effect?

"This election campaign will neither be shaken nor stirred by Mr. [Sean] Connery."

-- Scottish conservative David McLetchie on the Bond actor's attempt to rescue the sagging nationalist campaign in Scotland.

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Cut off by His Airness

If you could be like Mike ... you might withhold tuition money from your niece, too -- especially if her mother was talking more trash about you than Dennis Rodman on a bad night.

Michael Jordan's older sister, Delores Jordan, recently griped to the New York Daily News that her ballplaying bro has stopped paying for her daughter, Shenica, to attend college because he's ticked about Delores' upcoming tell-all bio. In the book, Delores apparently accuses their late father of sexually abusing her and squeals louder than Nike sneakers on a freshly shellacked court about her brother's changed attitude.

"The Michael I grew up with was caring and compassionate," clucks MJ's sis. "Today he's superior, arrogant and boastful. Michael makes the rules now, and everybody jumps but me. I don't." Delightfully put, Delores dear.

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Quayle's quill

Presidential candidate Dan Quayle may not be the brightest bulb on the White House Christmas tree, but he gets bonus credit for punctuality. The vapid former veep has turned in the manuscript for his new book, "Worth Fighting For," to Word Publishing, which touts itself as "a leading inspirational Christian" publisher. The book, in which political and religious messages are said to co-mingle with impunity, will not hit stores until June 10. But the man affectionately known as Mr. Potatoe-head may have wanted to allow extra time for an in-depth spell check.
salon.com | April 28, 1999

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