And this weekend Officer Belyski and his ardent brethren are seeing months of hard work come to fruition as the first annual PEZ convention takes place in Orange, Conn., home of PEZ Candy, Inc.. The reason for the get-together, of course, is the legendary PEZ dispenser, the flip-top doohicky that ejects tart rectangular candies and usually features characters such as Mickey Mouse, Fred Flintstone or Spiderman. Scott McWhinnie, the "Pezident" of Pez Candy, says that his factory "is a Mecca" for the PEZiratti. "They'll be all over the lawn with telephoto lenses. They'll be with their noses up against the back window. They'll be picking through the garbage looking for old dispensers."

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One such nutkin is Johann Patek, who's come all the way from Vienna for the confab and has collected so many PEZ dispensers that he's lost count. Another PEZ wig case is John Laspina of Middletown, N.J., who says he's paid as much as $850 for a single dispenser. Also in attendance will be David Welch, renowned author of the "Pictorial Guide to Plastic Candy Dispensers" and the seminal "Collecting PEZ." Pezident McWhinnie sez that the nutritionless candies are not so bad for you. "We don't have a lot of dental problems with PEZ," he remarked. "PEZ don't stick to your teeth. They dissolve. Now, Gummi Bears, they are a problem."

Cruising over to a much different channel: As Quentin Crisp once put it, "If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family." (And what was your family life like, Mr. Crisp? Never mind.) Boy George once described Crisp, author of "The Naked Civil Servant" and the wry toast of London (and more recently New York) fringe society, as "a queer Jesus for the 20th century ... his cross was pink and massive, and he suffered persecution on a daily basis." It's a characterization that must resonate in part for Marilyn Manson, who's not gay, but is certainly getting some heat these days. But then, when you endeavor to provoke, you can't be surprised when you succeed.

Anyway, according to his Web site, Manson, unlike, say, the National Rifle Association and PEZ, has, "Out of respect for those lost in the school tragedy at Littleton, Colo.," postponed the remaining planned events -- five concerts -- on his current tour. Says Manson, "This tragedy was a product of ignorance, hatred, and an access to guns. I hope the media's irresponsible finger-pointing doesn't create more discrimination against kids who look different." By the way, when are we going to see a Marilyn Manson PEZ dispenser, Pezident McWhinnie? And now back to you, Mr. Crisp and Mr. George.

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