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The men who would be king
In the absence of the main attraction, George W. Bush, the other five Republican hopefuls strut their stuff in their first town meeting of the season.

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By Jake Tapper

Oct. 29, 1999 | HANOVER, N.H. -- The Republican candidates sharing a stage at Dartmouth College for their town meeting Thursday night suffered in comparison with the Democratic candidates from the night before in at least two important respects.

First, while there had been only two Democrats Wednesday -- Vice President Al Gore and former Sen. Bill Bradley -- there were five Republicans sharing the stage (Gov. George W. Bush, the sixth, having pulled a no-show). So while the town meeting's 60-minute format had allowed for a full look at both Democrats, the Republican hopefuls got only about six minutes of speaking time apiece. That's about four questions each, plus a couple of brief opportunities to weigh in on the flat tax, as well as a comically brief closing statement that lasted but 20 seconds each.

Second, the Democratic candidates -- whatever their weaknesses -- are two longtime elected officials. Three out of the five GOP candidates, however, haven't as much as been elected president of their local Ricky Martin fan club.

And one of them, commentator Alan Keyes, is clearly a loon.

You almost couldn't help but appreciate the wisdom (if not the arrogance) of Gov. Bush's boycott of the event. Keyes tinges everyone near him with the stain of preposterousness. Someone in the CNN/WMUR-TV control room was clearly having some fun picking confused and bewildered audience members for cut-away shots during Keyes' tirades.

Keyes came to the press room after the town meeting to weigh in on his performance and to discuss how the media cabal never gives him his due. "I often win these debates," he ranted, "and every time I stand before you press folks, you have no questions for me ... People of this country have gotten over their racial sickness, but you can't look past race ... And I think I'm deadly sick of it!"

Ahem.

Bush's absence, of course, also kept Thursday night's event from being taken as seriously as it might have been. There were many reasons cited for his nonattendance, officially and otherwise:

1) In what may be the guiding light of his media strategy -- which seems to be to avoid reporters, tough questions and press conferences of longer than 30 seconds, at all costs -- the glib, affable Bush knows he's a prisoner of his own stellar first impression. Once you get to know him a little better, however, you realize there's not all that much more there; you start to trust him less, and his evasive ways start to make you feel uneasy. Hence, he'd rather stave off that realization as long as possible, hopefully until after November 2000.

2) He's so far out in front in polls, cash, organization and endorsements, that the first GOP debate was guaranteed to be a game of pile-on-W. He has nothing to gain from such an event and will only participate when he absolutely has to. Hence, he also skipped a Republican debate last Friday at the University of New Hampshire, opting instead to attend a fund-raiser across the Connecticut River in Vermont.

3) His raccoon has hepatitis.

4) He's holed up in an Austin, Texas, library with a world atlas, boning up on the difference between Slovenia and Slovakia.

5) He's busy attending a ceremony at Southern Methodist University for his wife, where she's being honored as an outstanding alumna. "I've always thought my most important job is to be a good dad and loving husband," Bush said in a statement, and then later in a pre-town meeting interview with WMUR-TV. "Those of you who are married will certainly understand why I unfortunately cannot be at tonight's debate -- my wife is being recognized with a once-in-a-lifetime honor ... I wouldn't miss it for the world."

No. 5 is the answer Bush gave, obviously. One of his challengers, gazillionaire Steve Forbes, responded Thursday, "Blah, blah, blah, blah ... Perhaps future organizers of debates should call them 'fund-raisers' and he'd show up."

. Next page | McCain's big night out



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