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But meet they did in this town at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains, each flanked by hundreds of clerical and lay supporters. From his Thomas Road Baptist Church and church-affiliated Liberty University, Falwell recruited 200 straight, buttoned-down evangelical fundamentalists to participate. From 30 cities and various faiths White amassed 200 gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight people who had signed on to Soulforce, his pacifist social change organization that is modeled on Mahatma Gandhi's and Martin Luther King Jr.'s philosophies.

Dressed in their Sunday best, the participants gathered Saturday afternoon in the gymnasium of Falwell's Thomas Road Baptist Church where they sat together, prayed together and listened as, for the first time, two major religious leaders -- one gay, one straight -- sat down to discuss the impact of hate speech and hate-motivated violence on the lives of their followers.

Generically billed as the Anti-Violence Forum, a title seemingly designed to deflate controversy and establish a common ground, the stated purpose of the event was to diminish the "hateful rhetoric" on both sides of the fence. Both men came to the table because they agree that too much hateful rhetoric flows between gay people and conservative Christians and that hate speech and violence needs to end.

Oddly, Falwell believes that rhetoric from gays has contributed to a wave of violence against Christian fundamentalists. As examples, he has cited the teens at the Wedgewood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas, and Columbine High School who he believes were killed "because of their faith." After the Wedgewood shootings, Falwell told a reporter, "Most hate crimes in America today are not directed toward African-American or Jewish people or lesbians. They are directed at evangelical Christians."

White, meanwhile, maintains that there is a direct link between the anti-gay remarks that pepper Falwell's sermons and fund-raising literature and the long-standing epidemic of violence against gay men and lesbians. According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, there have been 28 murders of gay people since Matthew Shepard's killing a year ago.

Although White and Falwell came seeking reconciliation, they were both, in very different ways, equally lead-footed. During an appearance on "Good Morning America" Friday, Falwell apologized for judging all gay people based on the actions of a few "kooks." He also told the News and Advance newspaper that there was "no way" he would ever veer from his view that homosexuality is a sin. Though White was relentlessly diplomatic and openhearted, imploring his followers to love Falwell and his people as family, he went into the meeting speaking of his determination to "bring [Falwell] truth, in love, relentlessly until he, too, is set free."

On Saturday, participants on both sides were jittery. Two hundred yards from the church, a less pacifist form of democracy was in action. Protestors jeered at meeting participants, waving signs reading "Mel wants to sodomize your sons" and "Falwell insults church with fags."

Gathered together in the church parking lot before the meeting, the Soulforce delegates, some in clerical garb, all wearing palm frond leis, attempted to cut some of the tension by launching into a hymn, as they are wont to do. "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine," the Rev. Jimmy Creech of Raleigh, N.C., sang out. A tall, slender heterosexual Methodist minister who performed a same-sex marriage after the church forbade them, Creech has the distinction of being the first man to be put on trial for defying the 200-year-old church's "social principles."

Cathy Thompson, a married, 28-year-old Lynchburg resident, was ready to roll. "I want to say to Falwell's people: This is the face of a woman whose best friend is a lesbian, and let me tell you about her and her partner and how they used to have to sneak around and let me tell you about how they love each other."

But even though hopes were high and unlikely new friends were made (many Soulforce participants attended church with some of Falwell's people the next morning), after an hour-and-a-half of speeches and a follow-up press conference, the two men, who continued to refer to each other as friends, also continued to see things differently.

Next page | We love the sinner more than we hate the sin