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"I hate the fucking world"
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"[He] knew that it freaked the jocks out," Battan said. "So he quite often would act out -- somewhat inappropriately -- more to get a reaction than what he may have been thinking or feeling." Another investigator said that this same person would "taunt [the jocks] back by hugging and kissing on one of the other Trench Coat Mafia guys." Although Harris and Klebold were only sophomores at the time, rumors have persisted ever since that anyone associated with the Trench Coat Mafia was gay.

But more substantial information about Eric Harris arose just after the shootings. In late April, gay leaders in Denver said they feared he might have been gay or sexually confused, because a local youth counselor said three young people told him Harris had confided such feelings before his suicide. Salon News has been unable to contact those youths directly, and their credibility remains questionable. Investigators and school officials insisted that none of Harris' texts and none of the interviews turned up a shred of evidence even suggesting such a possibility. Battan said unequivocally that he was not gay or gay-leaning.

"What I see is a guy kind of chasing around skirts like I guess many seniors do," another investigator said. "He talks about being frustrated because he can't get laid." Harris was particularly obsessing over a prom date just three days before the murder, the source said. Harris did manage to get a girl over to his house that night, but not to the prom.

Of course this behavior would fit just as well with a conflicted teen trying to hide or repress homosexuality, but investigators said those feelings would probably reveal themselves in other ways, and none of that was apparent in his writings. One key investigator agreed to go back through Harris' documents looking for any such hints, and found none. Sources in Denver's gay community, who feared a backlash if one or both killers turned out to be gay, say the truth may never be known.

As they continue to search for the truth, investigators have developed theories about how the myths emerged and spread. Some sprang directly from the mouths of traumatized students. Sensational comments attributed to the killers -- many from single, hysterical students fleeing the building early in the siege -- were broadcast on national television even as events unfolded, and soon took on the authority of fact. Hundreds of trapped victims were just a cell phone away from the latest television reports; and stories of the stories traveled inside the siege at unprecedented speed.

"Students heard what other students said on TV and started repeating that as if it were true," one investigator explained. In fact, Battan says the biggest myth remains that the building was still under siege while those stories were escalating. Many Columbine students are still unaware that the killers lay dead hours before they fled the building with their hands on their heads. The entire episode lasted less than a half hour, Battan said. "I know to the minute, but I'm not going to tell you."

This unprecedented reinforcement of hearsay inside the attack site complicated an inherently problematic situation. "Eyewitness testimony, in general, is not very accurate," one investigator explained. "Put together with gunshots going off and just the most terrifying situation in their life, what they remember now may not be anywhere near what really happened."
salon.com | Sept. 23, 1999

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