Here it is:

Men, would you choose to stay home with your child full time if the following three conditions prevailed?

1) You knew that you would not hurt your family economically.

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2) You had your wife's approval.

3) Society had the attitude that a well-balanced child required bonding time with both parents, and that father time was especially essential after a baby has spent nine months in a mother's womb.

In Farrell's workshops about 85 percent of the men answer yes; in this group 100 percent answer yes, which is no surprise, as even Farrell himself readily acknowledges that any group that is exclusively made up of Farrell followers is likely to share his views on the need for men to nurture their children. Of course, the real question is: What parent -- of either gender -- wouldn't choose to spend time with their children if their choice had no effect on their family's income and they knew that they wouldn't be looked down upon by their spouse and society as "just" a house spouse?

The fact is that all three of these conditions are almost never met, for any stay-at-home parent. Parents who choose to stay at home know that they are choosing to place more value on time with their child than on family income and position in society. It's what we do within this crucible of choice -- knowing we will inevitably sacrifice one thing for another -- that reveals what we ultimately value.

(Farrell says he once met a man at a panel discussion for NOW in the mid-'70s who had negotiated the delicate balance of fatherhood and career. This man, who was seated next to Farrell, explained that he had just left his high-paying career, with more than enough money to retire, to stay at home with his son full time. His wife approved; she needed time to devote to her own career. Then, someone reached over Farrell to ask the man for his autograph. The man was John Lennon.)

Throughout history, says Farrell, men have been encouraged to be "disposable," that is, ultimately willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good of the community. Men are trained for this through competitive sports, like football. They learn that they must buy love with their own pain (on the field or the time clock) and, ultimately, be willing to die. And they do, mourns Farrell. Not only do men die an average of seven years earlier than women, but they are five times more likely to commit suicide -- and 13.5 times more likely after the age of 85.

"Do you know the root word of hero?" he asks the Borders audience.

Turns out it comes from "cero," which, in the original Greek, means "servant," or even "slave." Historically, men have been servants, says Farrell, slaves to the greater community, the servant-protectors of women, children and old men. The mistake of feminism, says Farrell, is that women equated serving with power and privilege, when in fact both sexes were simply acting out their roles.

Now, for the first time in history, says Farrell, we don't have to rely on such antiquated notions of gender. In fact, if we do, it will only lead to mutually assured destruction. Western industrialized society has put "our genetic heritage in conflict with our genetic future." This, Farrell tells us, is because, among other things, we have the nuclear bomb, and men who are bred solely as "killer-protectors" will certainly destroy us all.

And yet, sadly, says Farrell, women are still choosing men as mates based solely on their ability to be "protectors," at least financially speaking.

Which brings Farrell to another exercise, during which it is established that 100 percent of the women in the audience married for money; all the men married for looks.

Order "Mothers Who Think: Tales of Real-Life Parenthood" from the editors of Mothers Who Think.