Blaming our bad judgment on the transgressions of others is a certain path to denying our own basic responsibilities. Telling a woman whose alcoholism causes her to mow down a pedestrian while driving drunk that her actions are the responsibility of some abusive partner is an awfully dangerous method of therapy. Ensuring that an addict is convinced that he or she is the victim of their circumstances is always a sure-fire method for convincing them that it's OK to abuse drugs, just so long as someone else can be blamed for it. The sexism here is nauseating.
-- Sage M. McLaughlin
Curse of the hippie letters
Sarah Beach, author of "Curse of the Hippie Parents" is both hailed and criticized by our readers.
The response to "Without Hair, I Am Nothing," by Ray Smith:
If it makes Ray feel better, here is one gay man who thinks baldness is >sexy. Men who are going bald and shave their heads or cut it very short look 10 years younger and much more confident than those who try the old comb-over or expensive transplants.
Not to mention how practical it is.
-- Lars W.
As a 35-year-old man who has been noticeably gray since about the seventh grade, I would be amused by this article if the author didn't seem to be in such genuine pain.
Recently, my hair has begun to thin, and I just couldn't possibly care less.
I have always been puzzled by the treatment of baldness as a medical complaint. I take medicine when I get sick. Losing hair is not a sickness, so why would I want to take medicine for it?
I suspect that the author is unhappy in other ways: Maybe he's not in a relationship, or maybe his job isn't going as he'd like. But to blame that on being 'follicularly challenged' is too much of a stretch for me.
-- Gary Sulls
I had thought the article would be a portrait of someone who realises how their superficiality and lack of self-esteem drives them to ludicrous measures. Unfortunately, it instead seems to treat the author's insecurity as reality -- that being bald really, truly is terrible.
I too began to experience male-pattern baldness in late high school. Unlike the mysterious author, however, most people don't loose their entire self-worth along with their hair. However, the article instead suggests millions of people are desperately suffering in silence, when they are in fact blissfully unaware of how miserable they should be.
If the article's tone wasn't so factual, I'd laugh at the ludicrous use of a pseudonym, his parent's bizarre "frantic search for an explanation," to the closing statement that he can't "look good" if he's bald. It's too bad that readers may not realise that most balding people aren't dysfunctional. It's clear that author doesn't.
-- Mike Stewart (not a pseudonym!)
Get over it!
What I find tragic is that your self-esteem is thin and receding, not that your hairline is thin and receding. What's even worse is that your mom fed this sad obsession.
Before you write me off, I am not some well-coifed pundit speaking from an ivory tower. I'm 30, male and have a hairline that beat as hasty a retreat as the French in WWII. My hair was noticeably receding by my junior year of college (if not earlier) and I shaved my noggin bare by 25.
No, I wasn't happy about my hair loss, but it wasn't a devastating blow either. I accepted the fact that what was hair today, would be gone tomorrow. Since I accepted that fact and moved on with my life I've realized that women react positively to self-confidence and generally don't give a damn about your hair or the lack of it.
Ray, I'd suggest you might find something more permanent than your hair (or any other aspect of your appearance) to hold your self-esteem together. And in the meantime, if you need a "hair-replacement system," buy a hat!
-- Tim Fowler
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