The hippie mom and others respond

Sarah Beach, author of "Curse of the Hippie Parents," is both hailed and criticized by readers.

Editor's note: We received so many letters about "Curse of the Hippie Parents" (including one from Beach's mom), that we decided to give the missives their own two pages. And even so, we have included just a representative selection.

Aug. 31, 2001 |

Awesome! Amazing! Honest! Encompassing to read and much more ... Sarah Beach hits a home run for her Hippie Parenting article. I can vouch for all of it.

Excellent writer. Thanks.

-- Scott Howell

What Ms. Beach experienced was nothing short of neglect and molestation. Though I don't doubt that other "hippie children" experienced such things, I do doubt that it was quite as prevalent as Ms. Beach would have us believe.

I knew quite a few "hippie children" in high school. They were, for the most part, infinitely funnier, smarter, better read, more spontaneous and less hung up than the rest of us. And they were happier, too.

I wonder how they got that way?

-- Rob Anderson

"Paranoid ultra-conservatism of the '50s?" This child has been brainwashed.

-- John Varner

While Sarah Beach's childhood may resemble that of many hippie children, it does not speak for all of us. There were many hippie parents, like mine for example, who were able to raise freedom-loving children without exposing us to more danger than your average (lets say square, for old times sake) kid. My mom referred to it as "casual parenting." Basically unfettered, me and my siblings ran around in the woods sans bug repellent, and wove God's eyes beyond measure. My parents didn't impose any "freedoms" on us; we had to find our own pot to smoke. As a result I ended up trying pot later than many of my square classmates, simply because my hippie attitude kept me from having metal-head friends.

I'm not trying to deny Ms. Beach's experience, I just feel its important to remember that not all hippies were the same, and many of them were excellent parents, who struck a cunning balance between rejecting the constrictive culture of their parents and embracing the responsibilities of parenthood.

-- Ben Schwabe

I'm so proud of my daughter I think I'll have a T-shirt made: "Hi! I'm Sarah Beach's Hippie Mother." (Thirty years ago I would have embroidered my own.) Many things about Sarah make me happy: her writing, her art (she's a hugely talented sculptor, painter and graphic artist), her compassion, her wit. But most of all I admire her courage.

Sarah's memories of her childhood are not always the same as my own, or her brother's, or the others who were part of our "Big Family." All remembered versions of those realities are equally true. Sarah wrote for Salon to call attention to a problem she sees developing -- a revival of interest in communal living that ignores the potential dangers to children raised in non-traditional settings. She used her own experiences, as good writers do, to illustrate her message.

Whatever mistakes I made as a parent, one of them wasn't a failure to pass on some important values. Maybe that's as much as parents can hope to do -- and maybe Sarah has helped some new parents do it while better protecting their children in the process.

-- Neva Beach

A hearty "Amen" to Sarah Beach!

As an ACH (Adult Child of Hippies) I can completely identify with the experiences she details in her article. I remember (knowing that pot was illegal) the constant fear that "the man" would come and bust my parents, haul them off to jail and leave us (brother and self) even less cared for than we were already. I was terrified when, at school, I made friends with a police officer's daughter. I found excuses to spend all our playtime at her place, the playground or the mall. No way was I letting such a potentially dangerous person in our home!

The sexual "freedom" really was embarrassing and difficult to deal with. I, too, remember living room floor orgies and empty whipped cream cans littering every corner in the morning. I remember one of Dad's friends (and a fellow member of his amateur rock band, "Diablo") writing a song about his enthusiasm for all manner of drugs (called "Junk Man's Dream"). What a sweet tribute to a friend!

Part of the reason I've never felt ready to have kids myself (and never will) is the fact that I never got to be one. It's still all I can do to parent myself!

Thank you, Sarah Beach, for a sharp, clear picture of supposedly idyllic childhoods.

-- Francesca Fortunato

Oh poor Sarah Beach. Children always find something to complain about, but in her case I'd say the most dire warning missed is to not raise kids in a commune lest they grow up to be whiners.

Next page: Your life as an adult is not your parents' fault!