Diller's attempts to undermine Greene's strategies only anecdotally and with his "professional" disbelief are Reagan-esque. Greene's ideas are not theoretical but based on years of experience with real children and their families. Nowhere in the review does Diller actually state any objective reason why he finds Greene's strategies to be ineffective with some extreme children. In fact, the criticism of the book appears to be in spite of the success of Greene's approach.

Without any proof he slanders Greene's practice -- indeed, all of modern child psychiatric research -- for overdiagnosing certain disorders, unapologetically quoting unnamed "critics" as a source. What Diller seems to miss entirely is that "The Explosive Child" is indeed meant only for that small minority of difficult children who make the lives of their teachers and family a living hell. Certainly such families deserve a book or two. The portrayal of this book as part of a general degradation in parental discipline is another misrepresentation useful for Diller in tarring this book and a long list of others with the same, tired old brush of "the now waning self-esteem movement." Diller once again reveals his strong bias with unsubstantiated fear-mongering, promising society at large will suffer vague "pernicious effects" of "already-lax parenting."

One of the more subtle unstated and unsubstantiated assumptions in Diller's review is that the "appearance of a child" at his practice and at Greene's is somehow equivalent -- that they treat a similar client base, and that therefore Diller's experience can be considered by the reader to be equivalent to Greene's. Given the rather overexposed nature of Diller's opinionated writings, many parents with difficult children probably already know to avoid his practice. Likewise, those familiar with the success of Greene's methods might be selectively attracted to his practice. Diller's anecdotal success with improving parenting of some of his clients is laudable, but no more and no less valid than Greene's. Both can be true, but rarely, I am convinced, in the same child or family.

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Diller's outrageous polemic reaches crescendo, however, only when he attempts to refute and preempt future research showing benefit to Greene's approach, and indeed gleefully predicts its appearance, considering it evidence of an entire field run amok. I hope the discerning reader will find this anti-intellectual and offensive enough to remove any credibility Diller might otherwise be granted as an objective medical expert.

You might think from Diller's review that "The Explosive Child" is a book about medicating your child. This is another misrepresentation perpetrated in the name of bashing the book; the book certainly advocates and explains careful diagnosis and use of some medications, but saves its bulk for explaining how and why the "basket" approach might work. In case Diller or any other readers wonder, it is in fact true that many parents do find success with calmly enduring (not promoting or praising) a verbalized obscenity or two in the name of promoting peaceful home life and modeling of a proportionate response to what are just words and not deeds. Such a response does do more good for many of us than a strict, unyielding and punitive disciplinary approach. Why is this surprising?

And yes, I am someone who has endured a decade of faulty, institutionalized, cookie-cutter parenting advice from every level of professional, only to find that an approach including medication and much of Greene's strategy was remarkably successful and has saved our family from the abyss. Most of these unsuccessful professionals didn't have much to say after their advice didn't work. Don't disregard treatment of mood disorders in children until you have looked deeply into the eyes of a destructive, violent and struggling child and seen the face of the illness, only to have this image replaced with a courageous, appropriate, high-achieving, courteous and loving individual a few months after proper treatment. That's all I need to be convinced.

-- Brian Heltsley

Read "A child's first funeral" by Triste Longcore.

There is a time to indulge your child's desires to make her own decisions and there is a time to take your child by the hand and say, "I am making this decision, and we are going to do things my way. You may not understand now why I'm doing what I'm doing, but you will understand when you are older."

Letting a helpless creature suffer a lingering, obviously painful death for three days because a young girl cannot let go is appalling and cruel. What a brutal indulgence of one's child!

-- Beverley Brackett

What the hell is this supposed to be about? What kind of an adult would allow an animal to suffer for three days just so her kid can enjoy the rituals of death? A pet is a responsibility, not a toy -- even if it is "just a gerbil."

-- Christine Lehman

Order "Mothers Who Think: Tales of Real-Life Parenthood" from the editors of Mothers Who Think.