Crazy for dysfunction

At first, some mental health professionals thought that incorporating psychological terms in common conversation was a good thing. "It showed some awareness," Leslie says. "But it does get to the point where now if someone tells me, 'I'm an enabler,' I have to ask, 'What do you mean by that?' Because it's come to mean so many different things, it loses its meaning for professionals. Psychological jargon has infiltrated our culture. I don't know that it always helps us communicate any better, but at least there's an openness to it."

There is no disputing the dysfunction and pathology of those who occupy the hot seats on the "Jerry Springer Show," "Jenny Jones Show" and others like them. They're programs, Thompson says, in which viewers see "the real nuts and bolts of family dysfunction ... you actually look into the heart of darkness of where a real American family can go, as opposed to a fictional one.

"What they've done," he says, "are two things: one very healthy, one perverse. The healthy part is what has brought a lot of this stuff out of the closet. That's a good thing -- they've taken the taboo out of speaking about this."

But the unhealthy part, Thompson says, "is that in packaging dysfunction as a form of entertainment it's become the only way in which a lot of people could ever achieve celebrity. By simply confessing, letting go, and paying the price of your self-respect and privacy, one is able to instantly get this kind of recognition that, of course, human beings long for."

This is, in Thompson's words "a little bit sick." But more important, it takes the confessional catharsis beyond the constructive point, when it demonstrates that we all have similar problems, to a place in which dysfunction becomes a badge of legitimacy. Suddenly, the most messed-up person wins the prize. Dysfunction, says Thompson, "turns out to be something that is valued in its own right as a means to keep the Springer show and the Jenny Jones show going. And that's the disturbing part."

Says Tannen, "People watch the Jerry Springer show and think, 'Those people are really sick. I can't believe they're on TV.' It's very different from what Oprah did, which in my mind was the opposite thing -- creating a sense of connection: 'Oh, there's someone talking about her problem. I had the same problem and I thought I was the only one. This is such a load off my mind. I'm not the only one.'" Jerry Springer, she says, "breaks that connection."

By the same token, though, shows like Springer's offer more selfish relief. The viewer might say, "I am so glad I don't have that problem. I'm better off than I thought I was." At that point, "dysfunctional family" reverts to its old definition, reserved for the truly hopeless and lost. Judging from the popularity of the Springer-like shows, that meaning maintains its charm as a nifty means of establishing superiority.

"People who use the term 'dysfunctional family' have no idea what they're talking about," Leslie says. "They know what their definition is, but is it a shared definition? Well, there is no shared definition other than it's a family that is having, or has had, some kind of severe problems.

"What people have become aware of is this notion that all families have problems, that it's normal to have problems, and the problem-free ideal family doesn't exist," she continues. "Terms like 'dysfunctional family' are not at all helpful to anybody, because it describes nothing and everything."

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