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Recently in Salon Mothers Who Think

We obsess, therefore we buy
Parenting manuals multiply along with parental insecurities.
By Karen Karbo
[03/01/00]

Stealth merchandising
Why is the venerable Scholastic book club company peddling cheesy toys in classrooms?
By Shoshana Marchand
[02/29/00]

Hooked on tutoring
After-school programs bleed Mom and Dad while dissing Junior's teachers.
By Catherine Davis
[02/29/00]

Babes in Willy Loman-land
Why does my kid have to sell stuff door-to-door for her school?
By Bob Whitby
[02/29/00]

What kind of mother are you?
Marketing mavens dissect moms for eager advertisers.
By Lisa Moskowitz
[02/28/00]

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So what do you really need for a baby? While almost everyone will buy a car seat and a crib, the rest of the stuff is really a judgment call. Many expectant parents ask their moms, or friends who have kids, what they should get. Some do research in books or on the Web. Pretty much wherever you go you will end up with a list of must-have items. And it's pretty clear that the people making these lists are neither pediatricians nor child development specialists but MBAs.

Also Today We obsess, therefore we buy Parenting manuals multiply along with parental insecurities. By Karen Karbo   The family for sale We take a week to examine the ravenous commercial forces that prey on us each day.

There are layette and new-parent checklists. There are lists for pregnant moms, with recommended products divided by trimester. All of them appear to have one goal in common: to capitalize on the ignorance and insecurity of new parents in order to sell as many products as possible.

A sample of new-parent lists from iBaby.com and baby.com is revealing. Each recommends buying about 80 separate items. Not only is there the obvious crib, changing table, highchair and stroller, there's also a cradle, bassinet, rocker, pacifier holder, sport stroller, bathtub thermometer, wipes warmer, food organizer, valance and wall border. And don't forget the WaterRoo infant carrier, a sort of pouch made out of netting that you can use to strap your kid to you while you're in the shower or pool. It is a necessity that costs only $25.

Until you see it for yourself, it is hard to imagine how many variations there are on the same products. As in the auto industry, cribs, car seats, strollers and highchairs are all about selling features. For $600 you can have a mahogany crib that converts into a daybed. How about a $200 Star Trek Docking Station changing table? The off-road Baby Jogger with alloy wheels is $500 (latté holder not included). The Japanese lightweight convertible carriage/stroller with removable basket, four-point reclining seat and adjustable handle? $300.

Since all car seats are required by federal law to meet certain minimum safety requirements, how do you decide? There is price, of course, but one must never, ever forget the designer snob factor. This is the emotional chaser to the safety issue, the nagging element of style. Do you like the tartan or the bear-and-balloons pattern? Will your friends think you're cheap if you don't buy Peg Perego highchairs and Maclaren strollers? Is it really possible to avoid BabyGap?

Take nursery sets and crib bedding. Babies could give a hoot what they are sleeping in as long as it's warm and dry; but parents care a lot about how babies' rooms are decorated, and they spend accordingly. You can get a complete Baby Guess bedding set for $400. And there are matching valances, garbage cans and wall borders. Or you could go really hog wild with a $5,000 Harley-Davidson nursery set. Invest that much in the stock market and you could buy the kid a real Harley when she turns 16.

Technology is another hot button, an enhancement to the baby products industry that straddles safety and style, with timesaving bonuses thrown in for good measure (and extra bucks). You can now buy heat-sensing spoons for about $4 that change color when the food on them is too hot. "Dip into grub with no worries -- the unique Heat Sensor spoon changes color when food is too hot for your baby's tender gums," reads the Web promo. "Supported by the Child Accident Prevention Trust."

From a geek standpoint, the spoon is kind of cool. But just because we can build it doesn't mean that we should buy it. Common sense tells you to taste the baby's food first, at no extra cost. But the heat-sensing spoon is there to remind you of your fallibility, or at least the fallibility of your second-rate lips. The floating duck bathtub thermometer ($2.99) exists for the same purpose. "Prevent accidental scalding," says the ad. "The Bath Pal thermometer indicates the ideal range for your baby's bath and measures the actual temperature in the water in 30 seconds." And what is wrong with feeling the water with your hand? Your hand, I guess.

It's enough to make you forget sometimes that the only thing that babies really need is love.
salon.com | March 1, 2000

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