TODAY

Drama Queen candidates
The best of the worst of what you did

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ARCHIVES

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Mamafesto
By Camille Peri
Why it's time
for Mothers Who Think

[ CONTESTANT No. 3 ]

CAT POOP IS THE SPECIAL INGREDIENT BEHIND ANY FUDGE RECIPE.
By X McClure
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I was always a practical joker as a child. (It's extended into adulthood, unfortunately, but that's another story.) When I was about 11, my younger cousin, Larry, about 8 at the time, came to stay with us for the summer. We had a lot of fun, even though most of it was at his expense.

One day, my mother prepared a huge batch of fudge. I had a few pieces and so did Larry, but since it was getting close to dinner, he was "cut off," while I, on the other hand, got to relish a few more pieces.

As I was walking through our living room to my bedroom with a few pieces of the prized fudge. Larry stopped me and asked longingly if he could have a piece. "Mom said no, so sorry," I said. Then I went into my bedroom. In there, the wheels started turning. We had a cat that just had kittens in my closet and they had yet to be moved. I thought, "Wouldn't it be a funny joke to put that cat poop in a piece of fudge for Larry." (I cringe even as I type that.) The prankster in me won out so I molded a piece of the kitty poop neatly into a square of "fudge."

After my creative work was done, I went back out into the living room and said, "Larry, do you want this fudge? I don't want it." Larry, used to my ways, said, "What's the matter with it?" I said, innocently, "Nothing, I'm just full." Well, Larry eagerly took a huge bite of that feline fudge. He chewed for about three seconds and then screamed, "Aunt Pa-a-a-a-a-a-a-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t!" and started crying.

Well, when my parents found out what I had done, they tried to reprimand me. Fortunately for me, they found the joke kind of humorous, but they told me not to ever do it again. To this day, my family jokes when I make fudge. They still eat the finished product, but always ask about the ingredients.
SALON | May 4, 1998

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