- - - - - - - - - -

T A B L E__T A L K

Does the Economist kick other weekly newsmagazines' butts? Weigh in, in the Media area of Table Talk

- - - - - - - - - -

R E C E N T L Y

A bad week for the First Amendment
By Eric Alterman
Can a reporter write a book about a subject he covers?
(03/05/98)

Under the Covers
By James Poniewozik
Money magazines, reflecting our schizoid attitudes toward loot, wobble between safe 'n' sober advice and get-rich-quick fantasies
(03/04/98)

Memoirs of a shy pornographer
By Molly Weatherfield
A pornographer is taken aback when a reader takes her fantasies seriously
(03/03/98)

How to succeed in everything by dropping out of Harvard
By Shoshana Berger
Matt Damon is the latest in the long line of Crimson quitters to make it big
(03/02/98)

All along the ivory tower
By Michael Batty
A recent Dylan Symposium at Stanford proved that as rock fans, academics can babble with the most brain-dead Aerosmith heads
(02/27/98)

- - - - - - - - - -

BROWSE THE
MEDIA CIRCUS
ARCHIVES

BY CATHERINE SEIPP | You might not think so from watching his movies, but apparently, self-righteous superstar screenwriter Joe Eszterhas does have a sense of humor. Witness the full-page ad he took out in Variety this week, in reaction to last weekend's disastrous opening of his latest overhyped bomb, "An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn."

"The critical response to 'Burn Hollywood Burn' redeemed 'Showgirls.' I'm happy about that," Eszterhas announced, adding that he accepts his probable Razzie award in advance "and will appear in person" to receive it.

Ah, I thought, chalk up one more for the Razzies.

Every year, as Hollywood prepares for the Oscars, it also has to contend with a distinct raspberry of derision from the peanut gallery. Since 1980, the Golden Raspberry Awards Foundation, otherwise known as the Razzies, has announced its awards the day before the Oscars for the worst achievement in film.

Winners have included some of the most powerful people in show business, while the Razzies' membership is mostly a motley crew of low-paid workers on the fringes of the film industry. Over the years, however, the organization has grown to include almost 500 bad movie lovers in 35 states plus Canada, the U.K., Russia, Switzerland, Japan and Australia.

The Razzies are the brainchild and beloved pet project of John Wilson, a Hollywood advertising copywriter whom I've known since college. These days the ceremony has gotten fairly grand, being held at the Academy Room of the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel, where the very first Oscars were staged in 1928.

Like the Oscars (referred to in the Razzies newsletter as "that Other Awards show: aka The Giving of Little Gold Men"), the Razzies always has a boffo opening number. This year's is a parody of "My Heart Will Go On," the love theme from "Titanic." The Razzies version features someone dressed up as Shelley Winters from "The Poseidon Adventure" singing "The Worst Will Go On." Sample lyrics:

Ev'ry time a turkey's turned loose in a the-atre, I know that The Worst will go on
Any time an actor's embaras-s-s-singly bad, I know that The Worst will go on

Each year the Razzies seem to garner more press coverage, with at least four foreign TV news crews scheduled to attend the March 22 show. But I'm proud to say that I was in at the pre-production stage of the very first Razzie Awards 18 years ago, which basically involved helping Wilson collect a bunch of cardboard boxes from the dumpster behind our local Kmart.

Even that first year had a boffo opening production number, however, a tribute to stars who'd passed on called "Dead Entertainers." Sample lyrics (sung to the tune of "That's Entertainment"):

They've all gone
To back lots in the sky
But they live on
In their films, so don't cry
They've all decomposed
So now we've composed
Dead Enter-tai-ai-ners!

Wilson was pleased by, but typically cynical about, Eszterhas' Variety ad. "The guy who didn't think 'Showgirls' was funny is trying to be funny with this," he said. I was actually surprised that the latest entry in the Eszterhas oeuvre -- a much-anticipated but apparently leaden send-up of Hollywood -- had even opened.

"Well, because they tried to sneak it into theaters," the "chief Raspberry," as Wilson often refers to himself in his newsletter, informed me. "I of course went to the very first showing the very first day it opened, and was shocked to see 11 other people in the theater. I should have hit them up for Razzie memberships."

Eszterhas is being pretty good-natured about the Razzie that probably awaits him, considering that the Razzies singled him out for special attention last year with its "Joe Eszterhas Worst-Written Film Grossing Over $100 Million" award. (The winner: Michael Crichton and his wife for "Twister.") But if Eszterhas does show up to accept his Razzie in person next year, he'll be part of a growing tradition. Two years ago Paul Verhoeven accepted a worst director Razzie for "Showgirls," and MGM sent a 300-pound transvestite in a gold lamé gown to accept on behalf of the studio when "Showgirls" won worst picture.

N E X T+P A G E+| The winners are showing up

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

PHOTOGRAPH BY BARBARA WILSON