Correction: After reading the March 9 Wanderlust story, "Dueling dromedaries," an alert reader pointed out to Salon that the camels in the story were not, in fact, dromedaries, since they had two humps. Ashamed at our ignorance of nature, we've changed the headline to "Clash of the camels."
_______________ RUB ME TENDER BY JON BOWEN (03/04/99)
	If just about every woman he knows can recall being the victim of frotteurism, why is Jon Bowen so convinced that women are unaware when it's happening? Just about any woman who regularly uses the New York subways has been taken advantage of in this way -- and we know it, because we can feel the slimy little creeps rubbing themselves on us. Sometimes they're not so considerate as to wrap their pathetic weenies with plastic wrap, and we end up with the "evidence" on our clothes. The reasons it's not reported are, A) it's icky and embarrassing; B) women generally have to put up with a lot of stuff that's icky and embarrassing, so it's a matter of picking one's battles; C) we don't want to reward these perverts by giving them any attention; and D) as Bowen notes, the cops aren't exactly eager to classify this as criminal behavior. For the record, the crime is called "battery," and it's probably sexual battery as well. It's really hard to call this a "victimless" crime when women feel enough distress to resort to protective countermeasures. In addition to those mentioned in the article, add: suddenly stepping backward onto the perp's foot (best for those wearing high heels); carrying a furled umbrella that can be sharply raised between the perp's legs; carrying a large tote or briefcase that can be interposed between suspected perverts and one's own body; turning to face the perp directly while loudly denouncing him to the assembled subway passengers; and springing for cab fare. Consider the burgeoning popularity of the backpack as the preferred totebag of young urban women. There are good strategic reasons for wearing a large backpack that have nothing to do with the prevention of shoulder injuries. The other "victims" of these crimes are a fair number of considerate men who are made to feel self-conscious and afraid of giving unintended offense. Forced to ride crowded subways along with the rest of us, some guys go through contortions to avoid any suggestion of deliberate personal contact. Bowen shouldn't be so sure that the women he rubbed were ignorant of his ugly motives. More likely, they considered him a sicko, and didn't want to encourage him by responding with the attention he craved. -- Mary Anne Mayo New York
_______________ WORD BY WORD: DIDGERIDOO BY ANNE LAMOTT (03/04/99)
	Anne Lamott seems quite proud to admit her shortcomings; she parades her lack of "couth" before us like a majorette's feather-plumed shako. By marching to a drummer only she can hear, she prances her way through a program of not very entertaining selfishness: "How could she allow herself to get so fat?" she asks over and over, with sly asides to us about how offensive this is to her personally. Lamott is one sick chick. Her friend Susan, the one with cancer, is a much healthier individual than she could ever be. I hope Lamott doesn't burden her friend further with her petty little thoughts -- or us, either. -- Judith Spencer Fort Worth, Texas
_______________ TERRORS OF THE AMAZON BY LEV GROSSMAN (03/02/99)
	Because my three books have been out of print for approximately 15 years, it never occurred to me to see if they were listed at Amazon.com -- until I read Lev Grossman's piece in Salon. To my shock and delight, not only are the books included on the site, but one of them, "The Neurotic's Handbook," is the recipient of three five-star bouquets left by readers who seem to recall it fondly. It's enough to make me want to write another one. -- Charles Monagan Waterbury, Conn.
	N E X T+P A G E+| Satirizing William Bennett makes me proud to be an American