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_______________ MY SON, THE CROSS-DRESSER BY LISEN STROMBERG (05/27/98)
	The next time someone gives you flak about your son's wish to become a ballet dancer, consider this: Lynn Swann, a famous and wonderful-to-watch wide receiver for the championship Pittsburgh Steelers football team of the 1970s, took ballet as a youngster and credited dance with helping him achieve those breathtaking, graceful Baryshnikovian leaps into the air to collect touchdown passes. He made it all look so easy. If I recall correctly, at one point in the 1980s, he appeared on the PBS show "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" and discussed how ballet enhanced his athletic career and his life. That show really stuck in my mind, and I couldn't help but recall it when I read your interesting article. As the mother of 3-year-old twins -- one boy, one girl -- I can attest that my son likes soccer and wearing fancy scarves as capes, too. My daughter is rough and tumble, likes trucks, dirt and pretty dresses. So what? Be proud of your son. He sounds delightful. -- Mary D. Brvenik Hey there, kiddo, you've got another gender-bender over here. I'm sending this over your way as an example of a normally adjusted adult with a childhood history of bona fide psychologist-certified gender dysphoria. In the unfortunate circumstance that you ever run into this problem (I'm writing for posterity here), let it be known that not all of us are swayed by the hypnotic suggestions of the psycho-sexual Freudian Reich (which exists as much in society as it does in the psychiatric community); some of us actually pass through it unscathed and become normal, intelligent human beings as we grow older and wiser. And hey, in case you ever get frustrated with the whole thing, I could point out a few studies that have been done by psychologists, where they have lined up gender dysphoric boys next to non-gender dysphoric boys and asked college-aged women to rank the kiddos based on their subjective assessments of physical attractiveness. Strangely enough, in those studies, the girlie-boys get the majority of rave reviews! I would have to say that, judging from my experiences as a teenager of squealing girls inviting me over to their house so they could dote, smear makeup on me and "doll me up," this might actually be true. So, though it may not seem to make sense to you (or anyone for that matter), this could be an indication that you'll end up being a real lady-magnet. But, of course, times progress, we all get older and learn to fill our expected roles in life. If at any point you feel that your sexual orientation is being questioned, or that you might be mistaken for a girl, just make sure to wash a little less, shave a little less and leave a few more dirty dishes rotting in the sink. No one will be the wiser for it. I have learned this skill quite well. Hey, I'm even your average male slob nowadays. Now, if I could only convince my girlfriend that these things I've learned are actually good. Take care, good luck, and don't break too many hearts! -- Zaphod Beeblebrox SALON | June 8, 1998