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Jan. 6, 2000
Police arrested an Indonesian smuggler last week in Changlun, Malaysia, when he tried to sell 22 dried crocodile penises by the roadside, states the Dec. 30 New Straits Times Press (Malaysia). The illicit reptile sex staffs were reportedly 8 inches long with a three-pronged glans that bristled with miniscule spikes ... ouch!
The unnamed 30-year-old black marketeer claimed that croc phalli were a superb traditional medicine for alleviating impotence, low sex drive, heart disease, asthma, arthritis, high blood pressure and shortness of breath. But when he pitched this spiel to a plainclothes officer of the State Anti-Smuggling Unit, he found himself immediately indicted for contravening customs regulations and his withered weenies cruelly confiscated.
Although ostensibly this arrest was about enforcing customs laws, some Malaysians seem to resent the invasion of foreign aphrodisiacs. Even the Western wonder drug Viagra has been challenged. Last year Malaysian Health Minister Chua Jui Meng also warned the populace that many of the Viagra pills circulating the nation could be fakes. M. Nor, a Kuala Lumpur "dukun" (medicine man), claimed that his "jamu" (traditional concoction) was more effective and cheaper than any Western stimulant, particularly Viagra at $28 per pill. His recipe? "Honey, ginger and 'telur ayam kampung' (eggs of a village-reared chicken) with a regular intake of Vitamin E," he announced to the June 5, 1998, New Straits Times Press. He boasted that his love potion has a 90 percent success rate.
"Come on, you Malayasians, wake up!" he reportedly complained. "Why are we looking to the West for a cure for impotence when we have all the expertise?"
