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Even today, Southern women are still defined in a warped way by that Southern classic, categorized by their actions as a Scarlett (whore) or a Melanie (Madonna). A man desires a Scarlett, but he marries a Melanie.

"There has always been this bad girl, good girl attitude in the South," says Doug Monroe, 52, an Atlanta writer. "I remember growing up, feeling terribly confused and guilty about women. I think that image has waned some, but you still have it."

Indeed, growing up in the South, I watched "Gone With the Wind" at least twice a year. As a Southern woman, I felt almost forced to identify with either Scarlett or Melanie. Every time I saw the movie, my mother would say, "Remember Southern belles are either mean as hell or humble as kittens."

Although I wear all black Donna Karan instead of floral Laura Ashley, and would never consider joining the Junior League, I still identify with Scarlett much more than Melanie. But as a modern-day independent Scarlett, I am haunted by a certain amount of guilt that I am not meek and pure like Melanie, waiting patiently for my Ashley to return home.

Rosemary Daniell, author of the Southern classic "Fatal Flowers: On Sin, Sex and Suicide in the Deep South," says the region thrives on guilt.

"You are going to see this [guilt] manifest," says Daniell. "That's why the South is so rich in literature like Tennessee Williams' plays. It's about liberating yourself through actions."

And in this land of the Rebel yell, people will sin, repent and sin again. This shame and rebellion produces a tension and silent code: Southern women never tell about their men, their sex lives or the anger they feel.

"There are two taboos," says Daniell, who lives in Savannah, Ga. "We are never open about anger or sexuality. If you are, you broke the code. The fact that Southern men behave the way they do is rooted in the belief that a Southern woman doesn't tell. If you do, you are labeled a rebel."

Male chauvinism didn't exit the region during the bra-burning days of the 1970s. Men still call women "honey" and "sweetheart" without giving it a nano-second of consideration. And even the toughest Southern woman usually smiles coyly.

"Men still compare their pistols down here," says Daniell. "Southern men are more directly aggressive and will romance a woman more than a Yankee man."

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