Depending on which study you believe, the average penis size is somewhere between 5 and 6 inches. But the difference in average penis size for a 5-foot-4 man and a 6-foot-4 one is only half an inch!

Perception makes the difference. Does he pull out six itty-bitty inches or is he packing half a foot? Is size predictable? Not very. Sure you can look at feet, fingers and noses. Big thick fingers are an assurance that you'll get something big and thick -- fingers. Short, tall, fat or thin doesn't seem to make a reliable difference in predicting penis size. Tight pants make for nice packaging, but don't really reveal much about the package.

With the family jewels, like fine jewels, the setting is key. A man's body is sort of a background display for his dick. And it works like an optical illusion. Big body + average penis = OK. Average body + average penis = average. Really short guy + average penis = wow! This is the guy who looks like he's got a third leg.

You can't stereotype penis size. Personality size, however, is another matter. There is some truth to short guys being hyper, louder and more aggressive. Since childhood, they've had to speak up to be noticed and jump up to be seen. What they lack in height, they make up for in might. Terri, a third grade teacher, agrees. "Little boys who are small for their age are frequently the biggest troublemakers," she said. "They may not beat up on other kids, but they're often the instigators behind fights. The smart ones become champions at verbal sparring. Some even manipulate the larger boys into causing trouble. That's the real reason I seat short boys in the front row."

As short boys grow (hopefully not too much), they can use those people skills to get ahead in the world. Some will appear taller as they develop a big bank account. Rob, a 5-4 investment banker, swears that the more expensively he dresses, the taller he looks. "And when I'm driving my Mercedes SL 500, I look 6 feet tall!"

I've always believed that all men can be masculine. But short men have their masculinity in a stronger, more concentrated form. Yes, they can sometimes be extra explosive -- it's a matter of contents under pressure. Napoleon was a classic example. Here was a short guy who had a high-testosterone, full-of-fight personality. And he had a reputation for being one very horny dude. That picture of him standing with his hand tucked into his coat? I'm guessing he was actually grabbing his "you know what." It reached all the way up there.

Hollywood is loaded with the short and powerful. Ever since the days when 5-foot-4 Alan Ladd was filmed with other, taller actors standing in trenches, it's been obvious whose size really counts. Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Dustin Hoffman, Al Pacino -- the short list of sexy leading men goes on and on. And Harvey Keitel has been right up front in proving that short doesn't mean small. Even the behind-the-scenes big shots aren't so big. Entertainment moguls Jeffry Katzenberg, Barry Diller, David Geffen and Laurence Tisch are just a few of the short guys doing some heavy moving and shaking.

Football players may have the macho image. But for every massive football player who's wrapped, padded and relying on his teammates to help win the big game, there's a lone jockey riding half a dozen races a day. With only light protective gear and his own balls, he drives a 1,200-pound horse at breakneck speed down a dangerously crowded track to the finish line. Who's the real tough guy?

My friend, who wanted to fix me up, finally admitted that the man was 6-2. He had seen me at a party the week before. I, not looking in his direction (up), hadn't even noticed him. "But he sure noticed you," she said. "He's been going on and on about your laughing eyes and heart-melting smile and fine rear view. He told me he dreams of sweeping you off your feet and taking you on a trip around the world. Please, he's been begging and begging me to introduce you."

Begging? I thought. Oh, what the hell. All men are short when they're on their knees.