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The navel is the locus, the centerpiece of the human body. It's the communal scar of humanhood, the sole button on your birthday suit. Japanese spiritualist Hogen Fukunaga writes, "The navel is the core of everything about the person." So it logically follows that the unlucky person who ends up with an abnormal version of this most central of body parts is doomed to a life of dubious distinction.

Growing up a stick-man skinny kid, I had an outie bellybutton. Later, when I got a little meat around my middle, my navel caved in on itself and morphed into a more conventional-looking innie. But I still remember the trauma and ridicule, the stares and snickers that I was forced to endure as a child outie. I recall the extreme measures I took, back then, to avoid public exposure -- ducking into an abandoned corner of the locker room to change clothes, sucking in my stomach to create the illusion of an innie, tugging the waistband of my swimsuit above my midsection so nobody could see my damning malformation.

Pondering our newborn's umbilical stub these last few weeks, my entire outiehood flashed before my eyes, and I wondered: Why are most folks blessed with the normal, universally acceptable bellybutton type -- the innie -- while a cursed few get stuck with obtrusive outies? Immediately, I locked in on my first task as a fledgling parent: I would make it my mission to get to the bottom of the innie-outie dichotomy. I would immerse myself in bellybutton literature, plumb the depths of the navel's development, interview the experts, debunk the myths and lay bare the truths, all toward the end goal of ensuring my daughter's rightful place among the world's innies.

Having an outie navel, I soon discovered, is nothing more than a cruel quirk of physiology, a dirty trick played on you by the reckless gods who stand at conception's door dishing out body parts. Dr. Bruce Shephard is an obstetrician in Tampa, Fla., and co-author of "The Complete Guide to Women's Health" (Penguin Press, 1997). Shephard explains that outies are the result, simply, of "individual variations in the anatomy." So the baby's delivery, the cutting, clamping and aftercare of the umbilical cord -- none of that affects the navel's final appearance? "No," Shephard says. "Cord clamping is done several inches away from the navel. [The navel's shape] has nothing to do with anything the physician does or subsequent care from the nurses."

Now, at this point, outie navels should be distinguished from the protrusion caused by umbilical hernias. In your abdomen you have two broad muscle bands that run vertically from the rib cage to the pubic bone. These muscles, the rectus abdominus, are joined by connective tissue that acts as a retaining wall to separate your internal organs from your skin. "If the connective tissue is thin," Shephard says, "there can be a weakness that allows for protrusion." Umbilical hernias usually heal themselves; if not, they can be corrected with abdomnioplasty.

For the outie navel, there's no such textbook explanation -- it's an anatomical wild card. And Shephard admits that having the "other" kind of navel can take a psychic toll. "I'm sure there are people who are affected by it. But there are ways to get around it. We live in an era of navel beautification," he says, alluding to navel-piercing, tattooing, henna art and the various other cosmetic measures you can take to doll up your bellybutton nowadays.

Next page | People want navels that aren't assertive