Gee whiz, was it so long ago that Manson was frolicking with the real Wood in semi-clad, plasma-drenched bliss? Guess something had to change after Manson told Spin earlier this year that “I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer.”

Manson may be about as relevant today as a VHS of "Dawson’s Creek" and a bicep full of tribal tattoos. And paying his loathsome shtick any notice might be construed as giving him exactly what he wants. But the fact that anybody would be hungry enough for controversy that he’d create this grim little six and a half minute bit of torture porn doesn’t make the final product any less revolting.

You can make meaningful songs about sex and death. Exhibit A: Eighty percent of the blues canon. You can create interesting videos that dance around themes of violence. And it may be healthier to fantasize about pummeling your girl than actually doing it.  But in Manson’s black-gloved hands, it’s not artistic expression; it’s not thought-provoking music. It's not outrageous and envelope-pushing. It's a cynical exploitation of abuse served up as entertainment. And it’s just gross.

Never underestimate the market for teen angst. Long after their rap metal brethren like Korn and Limp Bizkit have been relegated to the margins of popular success, Linkin Park continues to roll along. The band's "Minutes to Midnight" scored the biggest first-week sales of the year with a whopping 623,000 albums sold. That number outdistanced the week's second-best-selling album, Tank's "Sex, Love & Pain," by more than 520,000 and bested the year's previous first-week high, notched by Norah Jones' "Not Too Late," by more than 200,000. "Midnight" marks the band's third No. 1 album.

The Los Angeles Times reported that the Recording Industry Association of America is challenging a federal exemption that allows radio stations to pay royalties only to song publishers and composers and not to performers and record labels. If the RIAA is able to persuade Congress to repeal the exemption, which is based on the argument that airplay provides labels and artists with free promotion, broadcasters will be forced to pay hundreds of millions of dollars in royalties. The reason for the RIAA's push? "The creation of music is suffering because of declining sales," RIAA chief executive Mitch Bainwol told the Times. "We clearly have a more difficult time tolerating gaps in revenues that should be there."

Tuesday night in Paris, the Smashing Pumpkins took to the stage for the first time since the band's "farewell" show in 2000. Actually, it was a weird, reconstituted version of the band that appeared, as founding members James Iha and D'arcy Wretzky did not participate. Songwriter-guitarist Billy Corgan and drummer Jimmy Chamberlin were joined by newbies Jeff Schroeder (guitar), Ginger Reyes (bass) and Lisa Harriton (keyboards) for an endurance-testing three-hour, 29-song set.

If only for a moment, Marilyn Manson surely bridged some sort of high school social divide by performing a cover version of Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around."

After Courtney Love publicly complained, bulky-boot maker Dr. Martens canceled a planned ad campaign that was set to feature the image of her late husband, Kurt Cobain, as well as those of deceased rock icons Joe Strummer, Joey Ramone and Sid Vicious, wearing the famous footwear while draped in white robes and standing amid some decidedly heavenlike clouds. Airwair Ltd., the company behind Dr. Martens, has since fired Saatchi and Saatchi, the agency responsible for the campaign.

Bob Dylan turned 66 on Thursday. Ever wonder what it would be like to hear Zimmy sing "Happy Birthday"? Wonder no more.

-- David Marchese

Meet Mrs. Marilyn Manson: In a ceremony in Ireland over the weekend, Marilyn Manson got married to dancer Dita Von Teese, and the couple defied expectations by having a pretty normal wedding. "Contrary to rumors that the pair would exchange their blood during the ceremony," People writes, "they actually traded vows they wrote for each other." Manson was decked out in a black silk taffeta tuxedo, and his bride wore a royal purple silk taffeta Vivienne Westwood gown. A source told the magazine: "Everyone expected Manson and Dita to have some sort of crazy vampire wedding, but anyone who knows the couple knew it would be the classy, stylish affair that it was." (People)

It's the Al Sharpton show: It's still in the works, but the ultra-charismatic Rev. Al Sharpton says he's working with CBS on a pilot for a TV show. The theme? His life. "I don't know if I am a good actor or not, but I will be playing myself and I have been practicing that for 51 years," Sharpton said. "It's about conflicting social and political views." The best thing about this idea has to be the working title: "Al in the Family." (Associated Press)

Politics at the Kennedy Center: Tony Bennett, Robert Redford and Tina Turner were among the entertainment icons who were recognized at this year's Kennedy Center honors. The show, which won't be broadcast until Dec. 27, went off without a hitch, but many of the stars in attendance weren't exactly thrilled to attend President Bush's cocktail party at the White House beforehand. "That's the lowest thing on my list," Glenn Close told the New York Daily News. The paper also reported rumors that for the first time in the event's 27-year history, "the White House had asked the trustees of the Kennedy Center not to be present for cocktails and the awards ceremony at the White House." And some Democratic trustees complained they were given bad seats for the show. (Miami Herald, N.Y. Daily News)

Also:
To the cheers of a fan section inside the courtroom, rap mogul Irving "Gotti" Lorenzo was acquitted Friday on charges of using the Murder Inc. rap label to launder $1 million for drug dealing. Hip-hop stars from Jay-Z and Russell Simmons to Ja Rule and Ashanti have shown up as supporters during the trial. (E! Online) ... Oprah's appearance on David Letterman's talk show drew an estimated 13.5 million viewers last Thursday, the show's biggest numbers in more than a decade. (MSNBC) ... The culture wars arrived on the set during a double episode of "Trading Spouses" in November, when devout Christian Marguerite Perrin returned home from a stint in the "ungodly" home of the D'Amico-Flishers and unloaded on her family about the "dark-sided" things she'd seen -- watch the disturbing video in Windows Media or QuickTime. (Crooks and Liars) ... The organizers behind Philadelphia's Live 8 concert are suing Trimspa for not paying for $320,000 worth of promotions and, more important, failing to control spokeswoman Anna Nicole Smith; producers claim she damaged the reputation of the concert by arriving for her part in the show "intoxicated and scantily clad." (The Smoking Gun)

Money Quote:
Madonna on why she no longer goes in for hunting: "I was mad for shooting a couple of years ago. That all changed when a bird dropped in front of me that I'd shot. It wasn't dead. It got up, and it was really suffering. Blood was gushing out of its mouth, and it was struggling ... I haven't shot since ... I realized I had a kind of bloodlust, and was manically shooting things and trying to kill as many birds as possible." (Tatler magazine via Page Six)

Turn On:
After a little break, it's a new episode of the soon-to-be-gone "Arrested Development" (Fox, 8 p.m. EDT), and TV Land presents the first installment of a five-part series of "100 Most Unexpected TV Moments" (10 p.m. EDT).

-- Scott Lamb

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"We managed to fit him with a pair of false breasts, which didn't look too bad," an insider on the set recently told the tabloid.

But then there were a few other problems.

"When it came to Lara's tight-fitting trousers there was very little we could do about this guy's shape," the source said. "His relevant bits were strapped down, and it can't have been very comfortable for him, but with clever camera angles and lighting, the audience will never know the difference."

Now they will.

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Eminem: Mama's boy?

"People should know that when they look at Eminem and think what a cool, tough guy he is, they should remember that he actually lived at home with his mom until he was 26."

-- Eminem's mother , Debbie Mathers, on her son's reluctance to cut the umbilical cord, on Peoplenews.com.

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Say his name ... correctly

Dear David Letterman.

The next time Jake Gyllenhaal -- or his sister Maggie, for that matter -- is on your show, please try to pronounce his name correctly. It would mean a lot to the young actor.

"My last name simply means 'golden hall' in Swedish but it really gets butchered in English," Jake, who has appeared in "The Good Girl" and "Lovely and Amazing," told celebrity researcher Baird Jones the other night at the premiere party for "The Secretary," in which Maggie stars.

"Sometimes it just comes out funny, like when I was on David Letterman plugging my next movie, 'Moonlight Mile,' and Letterman kept calling me 'Jill-and-Ham' the whole time," he says.

Other people find a way to get 'guile' or 'jilted' in there, but Gyllenhaal would like you all to know, it's pronounced Gill-en-hall.

Are we clear now, Dave?

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Angst over angst

"They only go to me for angst."

-- Ralph Fiennes bemoaning the dearth of comedy parts he's offered, in the London Express.

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Juicy bits

Guess what? Marilyn Manson's been painting something other than his face. The goth rocker has painted a series of watercolors depicting people who look like him, people who look like corpses and then people who look like Hitler ... only with a female body. His work is now on sale as part of an exhibit called "The Golden Age of Grotesque" in Los Angeles. "I make things that most people would consider grotesque a little bit prettier," Manson told the press. And I must say, Hitler, as depicted by Manson, does have a nice set of jugs.

On to happier news ... A film version of "Bewitched" -- starring Nicole Kidman. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the ex-Mrs. Cruise is in talks to make the most of her perky nose and play the role of Samantha, everyone's favorite newlywed witch. Producers are also said to be courting Mike Myers to play her befuddled husband, Darren. Or is that Darwood?

And heeeere's a denial from Johnny Carson that he's seriously ill. Carson's people have confirmed that, yes, Carson is suffering from emphysema as the National Enquirer reports, but that no, he's not, like, dying or anything. "I'm dealing with it the best I can and it is not causing me any major problems," Carson told the press this week. I guess we'll know it's bad when Ed McMahon stops laughing.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.

Moss apparently declined to comment on rumors that she and Hack are planning to wed -- or on whispers that she has significantly toned down her hard-partying lifestyle.

Anyone in the market for a maternity-underwear model?

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The sanest woman in Hollywood

"I don't think there is anything good about fame. 'Tables in restaurants.' People say that but, then again, why don't you just call the day before? Or go eat somewhere else?"

-- Jodie Foster on the invariably losing nature of the fame game, in the Toronto Sun.

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Lucky Liza?

Some honeymoon.

Not only have Liza Minnelli and David Gest spent the first days of their marriage tirelessly working the interview circuit in London to maximize their wedding press bounce, they were almost robbed to boot.

Word out of Britain is that, as the couple was being driven away from one of their many TV appearances in a chauffeured car, some pesky youths reached in through a window while the car was stopped at a light and tried to grab the $15,000 diamond crucifix Minnelli was wearing.

Luckily, the couple's driver figured out what was going on and managed to make a speedy getaway, leaving the kids empty-handed -- and Minnelli a bit shaken up.

"It was incredible. It was so terrifying," Minnelli told the London Evening Standard. "There were these three kids who just picked on us at the lights. They obviously saw what I was wearing and tried to grab it ... It was really horrific, very frightening."

Gest, however, was far less freaked by the attempted manhandling of his wife's property. "We're New Yorkers," he told reporters, "so nothing scares us."

Let's just see how the rest of the honeymoon goes.

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Found art

"I am equally the artist as much as I am a work of art."

-- Marilyn Manson on himself (what else?), on NME.com.

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Burnin' down the house

Oops! ain't the half of it.

Is Britney Spears showing the strain of her new alleged singlehood or does she just have a few things to learn about fire?

According to Spears' mother, Lynne, the pop princess almost burned down the New York apartment she was staying in the other day after she lit a candle in front of an air vent and then split the scene.

During Britney's four-day stay in the Big Apple, she and her friends "shopped every day!" Britney's mom writes on her daughter's official Web site.

They went "out on the town a few times too," she says, adding that "one of those nights, they all came in to a real mess! Brit had left a candle burning in front of an air vent. The wall caught on fire, and the fire department had to come to put it out."

That's certainly one way to meet one of New York's Bravest ... but it's not the first time Spears has had bad luck with a flame.

"This is the second time this has happened," writes Lynne. "Brit left a candle burning in her bathroom in our Louisiana home" and "caught her bathroom on fire."

Well, we can only assume she had her reasons for lighting a match in there.

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.