The fall TV menu

You want a side of Regis with that?

The broadcast networks' fall TV schedules were unveiled last week, and

the 2000-01 season can be summed up in four words: Hope you like Regis!

ABC

The big news: ABC is using up all of its lifelines on Who

Wants to Be a Millionaire, the phenomenon that (so far) will not die. "Millionaire" will now air on four nights instead of three (Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday), and producers are planning events like "college week" and "high school week" to draw in younger viewers. ABC is so confident that all you need is Reege, the network will debut only four new shows next season.

But can "Millionaire" withstand the summer onslaught of the buzz-heavy

voyeuristic CBS game shows "Survivor" and "Big Brother"? Once viewers have seen desert-island roommates reenacting "Lord of the Flies," will Regis and his nerd posse seem hopelessly quaint? Stay tuned.

The new shows: Academy Award winning actress/archer Geena Davis

returns to TV (anybody remember "Buffalo Bill"?) in the sitcom Geena (9 p.m., Tuesdays), in which she plays a successful career woman who gains an instant family when she marries a widower (Peter Horton of "thirtysomething") with kids. Among the other sitcoms: People Who Fear People (8:30 p.m., Fridays), starring David Krumholtz as a paranoid guy who thinks everybody is spying on him. Jon Cryer plays his neighbor, who's spying on him.

The lone drama is Gideon's Crossing (10 p.m., Wednesdays),

starring Andre Braugher of "Homicide: Life on the Street" and executive produced by "Homicide" creator Paul Attanasio. The ABC announcement describes Braugher's character, Dr. Ben Gideon, thusly: "The voice of reason, empathy and wisdom in a world of medical chaos, bureaucracy and hypocrisy ... he is Disease's mortal enemy." Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yeah! Frank Pembleton, M.D.

Canceled: Being named TV Guide's "Best Show You're Not Watching"

this year proved eerily prophetic for Sports Night, which exits ABC, possibly to resurface on HBO. Also missing from ABC's lineup: Sabrina the Teenage Witch, which moves to the WB, and The Hughleys, which has been picked up by UPN.

Among those coming back: NYPD Blue and Once & Again

(sharing a time slot, like last year), The Drew Carey Show, Whose Line Is it Anyway?, Spin City (Charlie Sheen replaces Michael J. Fox), The Practice

CBS

The big news: CBS renewed Steven Bochco's low-rated medical drama

City of Angels, which has a mostly African-American cast. While "Angels" has been floundering in the overall ratings, the series is popular with African-American viewers, and CBS has already lost its most prominent black face by canceling "Cosby." Bochco also gets his wish for a later time slot; CBS is moving the show from 8 p.m. Wednesdays to 9 p.m. Thursdays -- which puts it smack opposite "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire," not to mention NBC's surging sitcoms "Will & Grace" and "Just Shoot Me." Remember that saying "Be careful what you wish for"?

And, in yet another depressing display of tunnel vision from the network

that pulled the plug prematurely on "EZ Streets" and "Brooklyn South," the Eye canceled Now and Again, which was easily the network's classiest, most original, best reviewed drama of the year. Part sci-fi thriller, part romantic comedy, part family drama, "Now and Again" was an unclassifiable wonder that built a small, loyal following despite the show's dog of a time slot (9 p.m. Fridays). CBS never seemed to know how to promote the show, which is understandable, given its one-of-a-kind premise: an unremarkable, middle-aged man named Michael Wiseman (John Goodman) is gravely injured in an accident and secretly given a second chance at life when his brain is transplanted into the government-built body of a young superman (Eric Close).

But that description doesn't even begin to tell the story of "Now and

Again." In Wiseman's touching fidelity to his "widow" (Margaret Colin) and daughter (Heather Matarazzo), it was a lovely meditation on the concept of everlasting love. In the Butch and Sundance bickering of Wiseman and his droll creator, Dr. Theodore Morris (Dennis Haysbert), it was a mismatched buddy comedy with a cerebral edge. "Now and Again" was apparently too exotic a flower for the network that continues to cultivate "Diagnosis Murder" and "Nash Bridges." Here's hoping it blooms again on cable.

The new shows: Bette Midler plays a saucy entertainer in The

Bette Show (8 p.m., Wednesdays). "Cybill" sidekick Christine Baranski returns to CBS in Welcome to New York (8:30 p.m., Wednesdays), in which she plays the producer of a Manhattan morning TV show. Mike O'Malley, the comedian whose NBC sitcom lasted for one episode last fall, gets another shot in Yes, Dear (8:30 p.m., Mondays), a sitcom about two sets of new parents.

As for the dramas, Tim Daly comes back to series TV with The Fugitive

(8 p.m., Fridays), a remake of the remake. William Petersen and Marg Helgenberger play Las Vegas forensic investigators in CSI (9 p.m., Fridays). And Craig T. Nelson ("Coach") stars as a Washington, D.C., police commissioner in The District (10 p.m., Saturdays).

Canceled: Besides "Now and Again," CBS axed Chicago Hope,

Martial Law and Early Edition.

Among those coming back: Everybody Loves Raymond, The

King of Queens, Judging Amy, Family Law, Touched by an Angel. The unwatchable Ladies Man might return at mid-season -- or sooner, if that Mike O'Malley sitcom stiffs.

Attempted Regicide: CBS's Sunday movie and JAG held their

own against the Sunday and Tuesday editions of "Millionaire" last season; they remain in place next season. On Wednesday, CBS counters the old-skewing "Millionaire" with two shows that are destined to skew even older, the Midler and Baranski sitcoms. On Thursday, "City of Angels" gets thrown to Regis' lions. This is a plan?

The WB

The big news: The dubba-dubba picked up two castoffs from other networks, ABC's Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Fox's Eddie Murphy-produced animated sitcom The PJs. Other than that, it's business as usual for WB: Pretty girls with supernatural powers, angst-ridden teens and the most popular African-American sitcoms on TV.

The new shows: Nikki Cox, the pneumatic co-star of "Unhappily Ever After" and "Norm," gets her own sitcom, Nikki (9:30 p.m., Sundays), produced by Bruce Helford ("The Drew Carey Show"); she plays a Vegas showgirl married to an aspiring pro wrestler. Producer-writer Darren Star ("Beverly Hills, 90210," "Melrose Place," "Sex and the City") unveils his comedy, Grosse Pointe (8:30 p.m., Fridays), a spoof of a strangely "90210"-like prime-time soap . There's also the family drama The Gilmore Girls (8 p.m., Thursdays), about a mother and teenage daughter who actually get along. Yeah, more sci-fi for the WB.

Canceled: Oh, come on. Nothing gets canceled on the WB. Well, OK. "Zoe."

Among those coming back: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dawson's Creek, Felicity, Roswell, Popular

On ice: WB execs are high on the mid-season series Dead Last, a "Buffy"-esque drama-comedy-supernatural thriller about a struggling rock band that can see dead people (Jimi? Jerry? Kurt?). It's created by Steve Pink and D.V. deVincentis, co-writers of the John Cusack movie "High Fidelity."

Attempted Regicide: None. The only time anybody at the WB worries about Regis stealing away "Dawson's Creek" and "Charmed" fans is when some guy from 'N Sync is on celebrity "Millionaire."

Fox

The big news: Besides the return of The X-Files? What are you, nuts?

The new shows: The 11th-hour deal to bring back "The X-Files" for an eighth season -- with former hold-out David Duchovny on board for only half the episodes -- bought Fox some time to do what it should have done by now: find the next "X-Files." Candidates include James "Titanic" Cameron's Dark Angel (9 p.m., Tuesdays), a futuristic sci-fi drama starring Jessica Alba as a genetically enhanced teenaged freedom fighter, Fearsum (8 p.m., Fridays), a sci-fi drama from "Blair Witch Project" producer Gregg Hale about a computer geek who investigates paranormal mysteries via the Internet, and Chris Carter's own "X-Files" spinoff The Lone Gunmen, a mid-season series that was reportedly a pot-sweetener in the deal to sign Carter up for another season. And with Party of Five and Beverly Hills, 90210 closing up shop, Fox is also in dire need of habit-forming serial dramas. The network is hoping viewers develop a jones for Darren Star's latest soap The $treet (9 p.m., Wednesdays), about young and brash Wall Street investment bankers, and David E. Kelley's Boston Public (8 p.m., Mondays), about the faculty of a Boston high school.

Canceled: Family Guy, Get Real, Time of Your Life

Among those coming back: The Simpsons, Malcolm in the Middle, Futurama, That '70s Show, King of the Hill, Titus

Attempted Regicide: Why did Fox work so hard to keep "The X-Files" on the air? Because "Millionaire" is out there.

NBC

The big news: $750,000, each, per episode. That's what NBC had to shell out to Jennifer Aniston, David Schwimmer, Lisa Kudrow, Courtney Cox Arquette, Matt LeBlanc and Matthew Perry to keep Friends, TV's highest-rated sitcom, on the air for two more seasons. Negotiations with the stars of "Friends" (who were each making $125,000 per episode and had asked for $1 million per episode) went down to the wire. The final deal also gives the six cast members a higher percentage of future syndication profits from Warner Bros. Television, which produces the show. That adds up to a sweet $40 million apiece, over two years, for Rachel, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, Joey and Chandler. That's a lot of latte.

Now, of course, the hand-wringing begins, with pundits knitting their brows and asking how mere sitcom actors can make this kind of money. Is the cast of "Friends" worth $750,000 an episode? Well, considering the hundreds of millions NBC will make from the show -- hell, yes!

Attempted Regicide: On Tuesdays, NBC is sending Kramer up against Regis; well, not Kramer, exactly, but the guy who played him, with the new sitcom The Michael Richards Show (8 p.m., Tuesdays), in which he's a bumbling private eye. The next night, the Aaron Spelling soap Titans (8 p.m., Wednesdays) tries to lure younger viewers and women away from "Millionaire." On Thursday, NBC has called in the reserves to counter the final "Millionaire" of the week -- Will & Grace now has the tough 9 p.m. slot, with the increasingly creaky Frasier moving to Tuesdays.

The new shows: Besides the aforementioned "Michael Richards Show" and "Titans," there's Deadline (9 p.m., Mondays), a Dick Wolf ("Law & Order") drama about a crusading newspaper columnist starring Oliver Platt and Lili Taylor; DAG (9:30 p.m., Tuesdays), a sitcom starring David Alan Grier as a Secret Service agent guarding First Lady Delta Burke; and Ed (8 p.m., Sundays), a one-hour comedy-drama from David Letterman's production company about a New York lawyer who opts for the simpler life back in his Midwestern hometown. There's also an as-yet-untitled Steven Weber sitcom (8:30 p.m., Thursdays) that co-stars the majestically weird Chris Elliott; for some of us, that's far more rejoice-worthy news than the fact that Steven Weber is back on TV.

Canceled: Suddenly Susan, Veronica's Closet, Freaks and Geeks, Profiler, Pretender, The Others, Twenty-One, Jesse, Stark Raving Mad

Among those coming back: ER, Law & Order (both versions), Just Shoot Me, The West Wing (despite an assassination attempt cliffhanger finale that looked like a rerun of the Moldavian Massacre episode of "Dynasty")

On ice: Waiting for mid-season time slots are Semper Fi, a Steven Spielberg-produced drama that follows a group of Marines from boot camp to field action, and Go Fish, a sitcom from "American Pie" creator Adam Herz about a geeky high school freshman (Kieran Culkin) and his geeky friends. Joe Flaherty, last seen as the father on Freaks and Geeks, plays the father. It's a good thing NBC canceled "Freaks and Geeks," or it wouldn't have any place to fit "Go Fish" on the schedule.

Must See TV: There's a show in NBC's mid-season bullpen called News From the Edge, about supermarket tabloid reporters who investigate otherworldly phenomena. I mention this for one compelling reason: Sal the Pig Boy, a "half-man, half-pig" who is the tabloid's "top researcher" and works down in its secret underground archives. I am deeply intrigued.

In the news

Loading...

Currently in Salon