... Andy lies on a cot having a tantrum.

His annoyed date snaps, "This date was not meant for you."

"Kaya!" Andy screams, punching the cot. "I can't believe you are not here and I'm not rappelling into some cave!"

It's really, really too bad that Freud has fallen into such disfavor, because that was a good one!

Andy is terrified that his masculinity will get sloughed off along with his dead skin cells. Elizabeth shrewdly tries to reassure him by pointing out that, for him, rappelling would not be a challenge. "This is very challenging for you."

He is such a man that mud treatments threaten him.

We have to admit, shiny and shallow as Kaya is, he and Valerie are a really bad couple. While Kaya and Alison rappel down the side of a cliff like Effeminate Tarzan and Jane, Valerie is actually refusing to walk on wet grass because her shoes are slick.

Dano goes to look at a grotto while she waits for him on a log.

"Hopefully I can wear Dano out during the day," Valerie says later, perhaps overestimating Dano's interest and/or patience. "I know tonight I'm going to want to go to my room early and shut the door. I know I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about tomorrow."

Later, on the bus, a valiant Dano tries to make the best of a situation with Valerie in it. "What did you think of those waterfalls?" he asks. She looks at him as if he's just asked her what she thought of those dessicated dog turds.

Actual minutes go by before she deigns to repond. "Really cool," she says. "It was," he replies, then turns away.

Boy, yeah, she better wear him out or he's going to be all over her.

Elizabeth calls Andy a "unique individual."

Shannon and Tom: Still in love. How about now? In love.

At dinner, Valerie talks about Kaya obsessively, then finally tells Dano, "I turn into a pumpkin at 9 o'clock."

They say goodnight, Dano tells her that if she needs him, he's right there. After she shuts her door he sits on the couch and mimes shooting himself in the mouth.

Mandy and Jon: Footsie. Smoochie. Tee-hee.

Kaya and Alison: Shiny. Glistening. Um ... having sex?

Mandy and Jon: Still making out.

Amanda and Billy: Still sorting out Billy's issues.

Vanessa helps him work this train of thought out by reaching over and playing with his nipple.

"When I was a little kid," Billy is saying, "I used to be riding in a car and I'd have a sudden urge to hold my most valuable object out the window, and see how lightly I could hold it without losing it. It's actually a perfect analogy for what I'm doing with Mandy."

It's actually a perfect analogy for what we here at "Temptation Island" recap central are doing with our lives.

(Carina Chocano)

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