Taheed tells Ytossie of the time his lips touched Alabama's.

"Was your tongue involved?" Ytossie needs to know.

Taheed assures her that his tongue was under wraps, and that he was, in fact, thinking of her when the incident occurred.

"I hate it," she reflects on a voice-over, "when he turns things around and he's the angel and I'm just a psychopath."

And they're off! There is screaming, followed by images of Ytossie contemplating the vastness of the ocean and Taheed's rightful place at the bottom of it.

We don't really understand what happens next, but we think we can safely assume that it's either a weird moment of reality-show meta-reality or just random filler.

Taheed and Ytossie join a new couple (the man is identified as a "Scuba Steve," a guide; the woman is identified only as his fiancée) at a table and regale them with stories of resentment and recrimination. Ytossie tells the couple about how Taheed used cooking and listening to "get" her. The woman, meanwhile, looks somewhat confused. Could she be a naîve betrothed caught, by some cruel quirk of fate, in a bizarre portentous glimpse of her marriage to come?

Host Marky Walberg, who has been lurking off-screen, eyes wide with piggy greed, suddenly emerges so that Ytossie and Taheed can "decide the fate of their relationship," like, now. This classic Walbergian moment is interrupted while we cut to the reject-singles-say-goodbye sequence.

Kaya looks but exactly like George Hamilton, doesn't he?

Anyway, back to Walberg. He is a prurient little monkey. While grilling Ytossie about why she loves Taheed and whether she plans to stay with him, we notice he keeps making the international symbol for "very large breasts" with his hands.

No wonder Taheed despises him.

Anyway, Taheed and Ytossie are brought together and asked to "speak your mind, speak your hearts," which they do, as if on cue.

As Walberg looks on, eyebrows erect, Taheed drones that he loves Ytossie and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Ytossie replies that, with counseling, she "wouldn't mind" spending the rest of her life with Taheed. Then they reluctantly lean in and give each other a peck.

It's really moving.

"All right," says Walberg, satisfied after a job well done.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

That night, the three boyfriends sit down to a candlelit dinner with their decolleté dream dates.

Kaya has mercifully lain off the tight, see-through printed shirts for the evening, and everyone looks happy.

Walberg suddenly erupts on the scene.

"Good evening, everyone! Well, it's awfully intimate now."

Well, it was, anyway.

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