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Come back, little Yaney
The finale: Wolf and Whitlow, put through the rigors, face the recruits on Dismissal Hill.

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May 24, 2001 | When you're a balloon sculptor, it's easy to get caught up in the work. You can think you're an artist, think that life is just a parade of bulbous poodles, giraffes and wiener dogs.

But in the end, you have to remember: It's not about you. It's about ... the balloons.

We miss Recruit Yaney, the fumbling, stuttering, goofy balloon sculptor whose various ineffectualities would occasionally emerge out of the weekend warriors populating "Boot Camp." He would leave a metaphorical multicolored poodle on our psyche and then disappear.

Since he left the show, booted off lo those many weeks ago, we've felt that "Boot Camp" has lost a little color, a little sass.


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We'll be honest, we thought he was gone for good. We didn't know that, on "Boot Camp's" final episode, Yaney would return -- with blood in his eye.

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It's the -- what does it say here? -- "thrilling finale" of "Boot Camp." You will recall that the finalists are Recruit Wolf, the dark, canny and muscular boy; and Whitlow, whose rather more blank visage disguises more than her share of brains and a great deal of grit.

Or "the open weasel and the weasel in disguise," as recruit Moretty-with-a-y, who was bounced off the show by the pair two weeks ago, puts it.

The two are plowing their way through a series of physical challenges that the show calls "the gauntlet." The pair went through four last week -- they involved a run, a long obstacle course, a rappelling challenge and a memory test.

The catch is that the gauntlet began late in the evening two days ago, and neither Wolf nor Whitlow have had any sleep since then. They look more than a little like the undead.

The next step tonight is called "Meyer's March." (Each part of the gauntlet, sometimes previously, memorializes a former player on the show. We don't really remember who Meyer is at first. Oh, yeah, he was the psycho who got bounced early.)

The show notes that Whitlow and Wolf are 32 hours into the gauntlet, but again, the gauntlet started late at night -- they've been up at this point for nearly 48 hours, and spent a lot of that time under intense psychical bruising.

It's hard to watch.

"I can't believe they're making us do this," pants Wolf to Whitlow.

All Whitlow can do is echo his thoughts: "I can't believe we're doing this."

"Boot Camp" ratchets up the pressure on the two exhausted players. The first challenge tonight is running 10 miles with each carrying an extra 20 percent of their body weight. And it's cold out -- about 40 degrees.

You would probably be surprised to hear that two people walking 10 miles could be made interesting. We would too. The two doggedly slog through the test, each with a D.I. tagging loyally along behind them.

Whitlow tries singing one of her troop's marching cadences. In the end, it takes them each over two hours, with Wolf finishing about 10 minutes faster. The pair don't get to hear who won, but we know that Wolf is the winner and is ahead 4-to-1 overall.

The next challenge is called "Jackson's Hold," after another recruit we've forgotten. It's a weird one. The two each have to extend an arm and hold up a pair of dogtags, leaving the tags gangling over a tub of red liquid, which the show describes as blood. First one to let the tags touch the liquid loses.

It's hard. "You have to look beyond the pain," Wolf says.

. Next page | How can a woman compete?
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