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- - - - - - - - - - - - April 11, 2001 | Ever get the feeling that "Boot Camp" is just "Survivor" in a military setting? So does Mark Burnett, the creator of "Survivor." Burnett and CBS just filed suit against Fox, the presenter of "Boot Camp," for copyright infringement. Fox says it stole the idea fair and square. The suit is just the latest intrusion of reality into reality TV. Earlier this year, Stacy, an early contestant, sued "Survivor." "Survivor" countersued Stacy. Meanwhile, "Temptation Island's" Ytossie and Taheed sued Fox. We won't be surprised if the suit is ytossied out.
No word yet on whether Fox will sue Stacy for giving CBS the idea to sue them. - - - - - - - - - - - - Day 9 of "Boot Camp" begins in the pre-dawn hours, just like all the others, with klieg lights, screaming and huddled forms springing into fatigues. "Boot Camp" makes us so tense. The fact is, as fey, rather shiftless literary types, we've never understood the allure of giving oneself over to a braying, saliva-incontinent government hireling for indoctrination and physical punishment. We understand that in many cases it's just a job, not an adventure, but we don't understand these "Boot Camp" people, especially not the women. Why are they so serious? Why do they remind us of our Catholic high school gym teachers? Where are the whispery, sarong-wearing aspiring spokesmodels of yestermonth? Honestly, wasn't last week's shocker -- really -- that Brown didn't say I'm not gay? Isn't that why people always join the Army? Recruit Yaney (who, incidentally, laughed at Brown's confession last week: "What is she, nuts?") notes that the women are stronger than the guys, "as far as they've got their act together."
Recruit Jackson, who does not sculpt balloons for a living, elaborates. "If the game becomes gender-based, the women will win. Because they can get it together and we can't." Or maybe, if the game becomes gender-based, the women will win because the male barracks are brimming with vainglorious half-wits. Recruit Thomson, puffed-up realtor, discusses the medical condition that has grounded him the last few days -- an unexpected swelling of the ankles and feet. (The head-swelling is congenital.) "The doctors don't understand why exactly -- I'm 29 years old and seem to be in exceptional shape and I'm having these problems." Emphasis added. As it's not the first time Recruit Thomson has referred to his stunning physique, we feel it's only fair to point out that Recruit Thompson closely resembles a prematurely aged overweight tuber. And here's another thing that's getting on our nerves: Everything in "Boot Camp" is so dramatic. We can't stand the histrionics. The recruits can't get from bed to breakfast without passing through a gauntlet of screaming, more screaming, glaring and Raisin Bran. But listen to the music that accompanies their lunch-line hustle and you'd think they were disembarking at Normandy. Over breakfast, Recruit Thomson clumsily tries to form alliances. "Tell the girls," he says to Coddington, "that even if I'm injured, I'll be back 100 percent and that I'll vote with the girls, so ... you know what I'm saying?" Wait. That was a little unclear.
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