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Satire
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Who wants to save a network?

New for fall TV -- more buzz, a Gifford embargo and 1 million "Millionaires."

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By Christina Nunez

March 20, 2000 | Television executives recently announced fall-season changes to the following shows:

Jenna Elfman of "Dharma & Greg" will have her own show, "Everybody Loves Jenna."

"Dharma & Greg" will become "Darva & Craig," starring "Multi-Millionaire" wife Darva Conger and Craig Kilborn.

Jenna's ex-husband and Raymond's ex-wife will star in a renovated "Stark Raving Mad."

Neal Patrick Harris will star with killed-off "ER" star Kellie Martin in "Teen ER: Special Victims Unit."

"Sports Night" will be renamed "West Wing." "West Wing" will be renamed "ER."

Craig Kilborn's "The Late Late Show" will be replaced by "Late Show With David Letterman." Letterman's new slot will follow "Late Show Backstage."

The Learning Channel will replace the learning-optional "Wedding Story," "Baby Story" and "Dating Story" with "A Millionaire Story." Discovery will air the other three shows.

Fox will replace "Greed" with "Celebrities When They Were Teens," to be followed by "Teens When They Were Celebrities."

CBS' "Touched by an Angel" will have a new format and title, "Touched by a Millionaire."

CBS will air an ABC competitor to be hosted by Carson Daly, "Who Wants to Be a Celebrity."

UPN will air "Who Wants to Stay Single?" a twist on Fox's marriage show in which contestants try to avoid being married off to multimillionaires including Mick Jagger and Bill Cosby.

All of UPN's shows will last 15 minutes, except for "Shasta McNasty," which will be 10 minutes long.

CBS will retool its "Real World"-like island game show "Survivor," replacing the regular contestants with Kathie Lee Gifford, Tom Snyder, Charlie Rose, Jay Thomas, Ainsley Harriott and Howard Stern. The winner gets to keep his or her career.

With the exception of the special "Survivor" episode, there will be an embargo on all Giffords effective August through the end of the year.

The WB network will shorten all of its show names to make them more buzzworthy and teen friendly. Thus, "Dawson's Creek" will be just "Dawson," "7th Heaven" will be "Happy" and "Felicity" will be "Ben."

"Zoe ...," which had been renamed from "Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane," will return next season as "Still Crappy."

To compete with ABC's "Once and Again" and CBS' "Now and Again," NBC will air "Then Again," featuring Garry Shandling as a man whose brain is placed inside a body genetically engineered to deal with exceedingly annoying women and teens. WB and UPN will join the fray with "Not Again!" and "Never Again."
salon.com | March 20, 2000

 

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About the writer
Christina Nunez is a New York writer.

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